tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60221994985461599152024-02-19T08:25:45.652-08:00A Cup of Rosie LeighPete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-20831038831579754132014-03-22T08:16:00.000-07:002014-03-27T02:19:06.027-07:00Why I don't dye my gray hairAbout a month ago, I met a woman at church in the row behind me in her 50s or 60s. She was cute with a short, very bleached-blonde head of hair. We introduced ourselves and engaged in small talk until she suddenly interjected:<br />
<br />
"Can I ask you a question?"<br />
<br />
"Sure."<br />
<br />
<b>"Why do you have gray in your hair?"</b><br />
<br />
(a bit stunned, I took a moment to collect my thoughts)<br />
<br />
"Well...uh...I'm in my 30s and this is just my natural hair. And I'd actually be willing to bet that there are a bunch of other women in this room right now who are close to my age who also have gray hair. I'm just the only one who hasn't covered it up!"<br />
<br />
That's about all I could come up with on the spot, having never been asked this question before. <i><b>Why</b></i> is my hair gray? Is it time for a science lesson?? The conversation ended rather abruptly after some backpedaling on her part, not before leaving me wondering if some of that bleach had perhaps absorbed through her scalp...<br />
<br />
Before I continue with the story of this conversation's aftermath, here's the expanded backstory of my own hair. I started sprouting a few gray strands in my late 20s. At first, I just plucked most of them out. At around age 30, with pressure from my hair dresser, I dyed it all over, with a plan to occasionally touch up the roots. <br />
<br />
It was uncomfortable, unpleasant experience. I hated the smell of the dye, which felt like it was burning my nasal passages. I didn't like the way my hair and scalp felt afterward. I also didn't like the price tag. At the time, this was a compelling enough case to abandon the root-touch-up plan. After all, I didn't have a whole lot of gray, just a few strands at the top and back. I haven't dyed since.<br />
<br />
But at 34, I now have more, longer gray strands, with new ones sprouting all the time. My surprise conversation with the bleachy church lady* last month prompted me to think about two things. First, I was inspired to sit down and articulate all the reasons why I don't dye my hair. I wanted a good answer if this question ever came up again!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsF1-s1f6n5Tbo_YQzBkd2jv731M5-XnN2zIABPHwGsZQftA0GGubrU5okRuI8BA3QptF6kkPc0IEimN_fex9a2NyBwc2R71UZVDe5tz3E-n1FWLaB36gf7FblJHHw3IrGqoyF9n8a-tw/s1600/IMG_1318.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsF1-s1f6n5Tbo_YQzBkd2jv731M5-XnN2zIABPHwGsZQftA0GGubrU5okRuI8BA3QptF6kkPc0IEimN_fex9a2NyBwc2R71UZVDe5tz3E-n1FWLaB36gf7FblJHHw3IrGqoyF9n8a-tw/s1600/IMG_1318.jpg" height="400" width="301" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's really actually quite white as opposed to gray.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Here are some of my reasons:<br />
<ul>
<li>I don't want to put <b>toxic chemicals</b> on my scalp that can seep into my skin. Right near my brain, I might add (and thank you, bleachy church lady*, for reminding me).</li>
<li>I don't want to <b>spend money or time</b> keeping up with my roots. It's time and money I'd much rather spend on other things.</li>
<li>I know that as time goes on, the gray only becomes more difficult to cover. Thus, the more chemicals, money and time needed. I'm just <b><a href="http://acupofrosieleigh.blogspot.com/2013/11/why-asking-for-no-gifts-is-not-answer.html">not into fighting losing battles</a></b>. </li>
<li>I'd say I'm a <b>proponent of natural beauty</b>, but it really goes beyond that. Ultimately it doesn't matter if I'm "naturally" beautiful or young or whatever the world thinks I should be to have value. I'd much rather <b>stand up for character beauty</b>.</li>
<li>I aspire to <b>accept myself</b> as I am. This doesn't mean I won't strive to improve. I should care for my body, mind, and soul. I want to focus on improving in ways that matter.</li>
<li>I want to be a <b>role model for my daughter</b> for self-acceptance and for where to place value.</li>
<li>I have a <b>supportive husband</b>. He's bald, I'm gray. We make a good team.</li>
<li>There is a societal double standard when it comes to men and women on this issue, as it's much more acceptable for a man to go gray. What mildy-feminist gal doesn't love a good <b>rage against the double standard</b>?</li>
<li>I finally <b><a href="http://acupofrosieleigh.blogspot.com/2012/02/curly-girl.html">fully accepted my curly hair</a></b> a couple years ago, learned how to take care of it properly, and have not straightened it since. This was <b>so freeing</b>, and felt in line with my personality (a bit quirky, but always practical) to embrace my natural hair. Accepting my gray feels like a <b>continuation of the same mindset</b>.</li>
</ul>
<div>
I could go on...</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
My second realization from the conversation with bleachy church lady* was that I don't personally know any women my approximate age who show their gray hair. Not a one. So first, I did a little fact-checking:<br />
<ol>
<li>On average, caucasian women <b>start going gray in their 30s</b>.</li>
<li>"<b>Premature</b>" graying is defined as occurring <b>before age 20</b>. </li>
<li>When it happens is <b>almost all genetics</b>. Contrary to popular belief, stress does not actually cause graying (despite what people say about presidents going gray in office!)</li>
</ol>
So, I know there are ladies my age out there with gray hair! And there MUST be some that show it. Where on Earth are they???<br />
<br />
On the internet, of course!<br />
<br />
A google search turned up a few blogs from women who had stopped dying their hair. A couple of them mentioned a Facebook group called "Gray & Proud." I clicked on over and joined.<br />
<br />
And I'm here to tell you that I finally <b>found <i>my people</i></b>! Over a thousand of them, in fact. The vast majority are women, but there are a handful of men as well. All ages - teens to seniors. Some went gray in their 50s, others before they hit 20. Plenty of them are currently in their mid-30s like me. Some have never dyed, some have dyed for 20 or 30 years. Most went through or are currently going through a transition growing out the dye. They post photos of their progress, "skunk stripes" and all, and cheer each other on. Some have yet to take the no-dye plunge but are seriously considering it. There are lots and lots of other naturally "curly girls," embracing and taking care of their hair using the same methods I do. Curly or straight, they call each other Silver Sisters. <br />
<br />
What is most inspiring and amazing is the overall attitude and vibe of the group as a whole. The members are universally positive, supportive, and encouraging. They only have kind things to say to one another (which says a lot, especially considering <i><b>most comment sections of anything on the internet, ever</b>)</i>. They are brave, strong, and funny. They respect each person's individual decision to dye or not dye, and do not come across as superior because they've somehow "seen the light." Rather, they have clear reasons for their choices, and encourage each other to make a choice based on what they truly want rather than some outside pressure or person.<br />
<br />
These people get it. And they may not know it, but <i><b>they get me</b></i>.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQmqWrQE5kYtrmL9VsF0F-u6MInUG324DpqsYhUmVeYX26VGCbPz_mP-F9DUabfzR64Vgg3lLRpDkkchiMH6ZRENnJOUMvSsRM9uExk423-_BmN4s4BqDSc2UP0HQnC0oQWfMGYdWA3TY/s1600/Titterington-38.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQmqWrQE5kYtrmL9VsF0F-u6MInUG324DpqsYhUmVeYX26VGCbPz_mP-F9DUabfzR64Vgg3lLRpDkkchiMH6ZRENnJOUMvSsRM9uExk423-_BmN4s4BqDSc2UP0HQnC0oQWfMGYdWA3TY/s1600/Titterington-38.jpg" height="307" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's even more unruly than the rest of my curls!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Okay, but now it's time for some brutal honesty.<br />
<br />
Do I think some of them look much, much older with gray hair? Honest answer: Yes. <br />
<br />
Do I think some of them actually look <i>worse</i> with gray hair. Honest answer: Yes.<br />
<br />
But here's the problem with these answers. Firstly, I can recognize that <b>my brain has been programmed by our current society, culture, and patterns to think that gray = old and worse</b>. I can choose to resist this programming. But even more importantly...<br />
<br />
It doesn't matter.<br />
<br />
Let me say that again. <b>It just plain doesn't MATTER</b>.<br />
<br />
Does it matter if someone looks, or even acts, old or young? Young is not better than old, old is not better than young. Outer appearance and beauty just does not MATTER. <br />
<br />
<b>Some things that do MATTER</b>: Love. Grace. Compassion. Caring. Kindness. Forgiveness. Family. Friendship. Poverty. Oppression. Starvation. Suffering. Grief. Loneliness.<br />
<br />
Hair is just hair.<br />
<br />
Now, let me assure you that I'm not abandoning all attempts to look nice and relatively presentable on a daily basis. As a woman, it's fun to even dress up and feel pretty sometimes. But accepting the natural gray that's a part of myself and encouraging others to do the same is one way I can demonstrate my belief that <b>hair color is completely insignificant in the grand scheme of life</b>, and also affirm my refusal to worship at the alter of youth.<br />
<br />
Here's the last point I want to make, and it's why I wanted to write this post in the first place. I think there are the rumblings of a movement - dare I say, a revolution - in the works. We've been through decades upon decades of gray coverage and hiding as the norm, with only a handful of detractors. But I think more and more women are deciding they've had enough in just the last few years, and even months. Maybe I'm delusional or biased because I've been pleasantly brainwashed by the Gray & Proud crowd. Is it a coincidence that a <i>second</i> woman at church asked me about my gray hair just last week? Perhaps. <br />
<br />
Oh, and here's what's happening on Pinterest, by the way...<br />
<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">you decide</td></tr>
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<b>But if there's truly a movement going on, I'll gladly be a part of it</b>. So this is me, in this post, being a part of it. I'm telling everyone that I'm letting my hair be what it is. Somewhere, there is a woman who is on the fence about doing the same. And somewhere, there is a woman about to sprout her first gray hair.<br />
<br />
I'm here to say if you decide to go natural, you're not alone. I'll proudly call you my Silver Sister.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>*Update March 26, 2014 - Since this post was published, a friend of mine called me out on the negativity I expressed in referring to the curious woman at church as the "bleachy church lady." I think my friend was right in doing so - it was unkind of me. My husband had actually made a comment to the same effect earlier, but less directly. I should have taken the hint.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>Although I was a bit miffed at the way the woman asked the question, I was mostly using the term for effect--to write something catchy and to call attention to the irony of the contrast between her own hair and the way she questioned me about mine (even though it was probably just innocent curiosity that came out badly). In retrospect, I realize it was too abrasive, condescending and unkind of me to give her this nickname and basically tease her, assuming she'd never actually READ it. This is wrong and I apologize. Whether or not she had bleached hair, her question sparked me to examine and clarify my thoughts. I'm actually quite grateful to her for inspiring me!</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>It's sobering to remember that I'm not immune to embarrassing, self-induced irony. </i><i>I said in the post that kindness and grace and forgiveness MATTER. I know I fail at these every day and need them as much as the woman at church or anyone else. I'm leaving the reference in the post, and this apology to go with it, as a concrete reminder.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-79701957008547080662013-11-08T06:54:00.000-08:002014-08-01T08:05:08.919-07:00Why asking for NO GIFTS is not the answerI've noticed an interesting holiday-related trend among families in recent years. Namely, parents are filled with dread. They complain to each other in solidarity. Why? Because their family (or more often, a certain family member in particular) is about to go bonkers buying their kids gifts. Recognizing their children already have plenty of toys, books, clothes, and "stuff," the parents hatch a brilliant plan: Let's tell the family the kids don't need any gifts this year. Or, better yet, let's ask them to give only "experience" gifts, such as an outing, tickets for an event, a trip, a class, or an offer to do something with no monetary value, or just the gift of time spent together.<br />
<br />
A related trend is the no-gifts birthday party. Overwhelmed by the thought of an onslaught of more <strike>cheap plastic junk</strike> toys, the parents are compelled to request on the invitation: "No gifts, please! Your presence is gift enough!" Other variations include asking for donations to a charity in lieu of gifts, or requesting a specific type of gift only (i.e. books).<br />
<br />
It sounds sane, noble, and resourceful. Good for the environment too--less waste in the landfill! It sounds exactly like something a minimalist like myself would wholeheartedly endorse.<br />
<br />
So as a minimalist and a parent of two children still young enough to play with toys, why am I not a proponent of no-present parties and holidays? <br />
<br />
After attempting and/or experiencing numerous variations of these clutter-curbing strategies with my own friends and family over the years, here are a couple reasons why:<br />
<br />
1. <b>Giving gifts is a primary love language for many of our friends and family. </b> Whether or not you think Gary Chapman's best-selling book on <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Five-Love-Languages-Secret-ebook/dp/B0032CVAQQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1383910627&sr=8-1&keywords=love+languages">love languages</a> is a bit hokey, there's no denying that people give and receive love in different ways. "Gifts" is one of them. Since I'm a minimalist, you might guess that "Gifts" is not high on my own love language list, and you'd be correct. It's actually so far down my list (perhaps it's dead last) that even though I understand it's near the top of other people's lists, it still seems quite ridiculous to me most of the time. If gift-giving was somehow eradicated from our culture, I might not even notice.<br />
<br />
Yet, in all likelihood, we each have at least one family member or close friend whose primary love language is giving and receiving gifts. I'll call these people Givers, with a capital G. Based on the laments I most often hear from my friends, I'd venture a guess that it's probably your own mom, your mother-in-law, or a grandparent. But the point is, we've all got a Giver.<br />
<br />
When this person reads "no gifts, please" on an invitation, or is told your kids don't need any Christmas presents this year,<b> <i>or even that they shouldn't give anything unless it's an experience gift</i>, </b>I guarantee this Giver's heart will sink. An extremely generous woman and Giver I know, who is familiar with my minimalism soapbox, once confided in me: "Look, I make donations and give to charity all year long. Christmas and birthdays are the times I like to spoil my grandkids. Is that really so bad?"<br />
<br />
Giving, presents and otherwise, is what she does. It's part of her identity. It makes her happy, and to give in her own way is how she expresses love. Should we stand in her way? How would I feel if someone did that to me? Or if someone tried to micromanage the way I was showing love? If you attempt this strategy with a Giver, it will always be unpleasant and awkward for both of you, and you'll feel as if you're constantly fighting a losing battle.<br />
<br />
And even when you clearly state "no gifts, please" on a party invite, guess what? Givers will always find a way to get around it! They will feel compelled, and they will get sneaky. Maybe the birthday card will have a fancy hair bow on top instead of a traditional wrapping bow. Trust me, they'll come up with some kind of ingenious present-card attachment. Sometimes they'll just ignore the instruction altogether and give a standard present anyway, making everyone else feel awkward. Or, they'll try to drop something by a few days before or after the party. A few years ago, my daughter was inspired to work on a handmade birthday gift for a friend <i>weeks</i> before we even received the party invitation, which read, "no gifts, please." We figured out a way to drop it off separately, since there was no way she wasn't going to give it to her. I encourage efforts to simplify and appreciated why the no-gift request was made, but even my minimalist, non-Giver's heart sank when we opened that invite. It definitely killed the moment.<br />
<br />
2. <b>I want my children to learn how to give and receive gifts.</b> I've witnessed enough kid birthday parties to know that this is a rare skill. You know the scene: rapid-fire unwrapping, paper flying in all directions, an occasional forced-by-parent "thank you" amidst the carnage. You know this kid is not mentally processing the connection between the giver and the shiny new item in front of them in any meaningful way, if at all. I would like my children to learn to gracefully and graciously accept gifts from their friends and family. It doesn't have to be gifts of "stuff" and it doesn't have to be a lot, but receiving gifts graciously is good practice in "being a person" in this world.<br />
<br />
On the other hand, selecting (or making) a gift for someone involves thinking about the thoughts, feelings, and preferences of others, and recognizing these may be different than one's own (and excuse me, but how many <i>adults</i> do we know who still stink at this?!). Likewise, watching other kids open gifts when it's not your birthday or your turn is a lesson in how to behave outwardly when you might feel jealous or impatient inwardly. And let's face it: for really small kids, you're just working on the concept that grabbing another kid's birthday present, unwrapping it, yelling "mine!" and throwing a fit when the gift is returned to its rightful recipient is just not okay. Life it not all about you; other people are just as special and loved as you are. Happiness for others is not always a spontaneous emotion; it is also learned by experience.<br />
<br />
I want my children to discover and appreciate the joy of giving and receiving, and birthdays and holidays happen to be a time in our culture when this is done. So be it.<br />
<br />
And even I'll admit, it's a fun part of the celebration and everyone looks forward to it (even parents not so keen on the aftermath).<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN-t_2xeSSo8ER-C_haLpibKOaLnshrdFF-DG5YrA0zyvYzhPCLs-2bPzP_hb29uwz-HTDeKS_6dJYoG6LeD3wAJzVlZZNIwfPYowGJtHIfrHJYM_U58886O9tk2ZufcLqpQQ7AYpT17k/s1600/IMG_0071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgN-t_2xeSSo8ER-C_haLpibKOaLnshrdFF-DG5YrA0zyvYzhPCLs-2bPzP_hb29uwz-HTDeKS_6dJYoG6LeD3wAJzVlZZNIwfPYowGJtHIfrHJYM_U58886O9tk2ZufcLqpQQ7AYpT17k/s400/IMG_0071.JPG" height="300" width="400" /></a></div>
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<b>So my question is this: Why squelch or micromanage the gift-giving inclination? There is so much treating others horribly in this world that we needn't spend time and energy discouraging the rare positive inclinations people have toward one another</b>.<br />
<br />
But does all this mean we are destined to be buried in unwanted clutter at the whims of our well-meaning friends and family?<br />
<br />
Not at all. As a minimalist, here's what I propose as an alternative solution to the no-gifts trend.<br />
<br />
1. <b>Focus on what you <i>can</i> control: yourself.</b><br />
<br />
Meaning, the current level of "stuff" in your home and your own buying habits. <b> If a holiday season or a birthday is going to push your stuff-level "over the edge," it's likely the time <i>in between</i> these events that's the real problem.</b> As consumerism and overconsumption crept up on us, we finally reached a breaking point and recognized things weren't quite right with the state of our stuff. This is good. We knew we had do so something about it, but <b>we mistakenly looked first to control other people's actions</b>. Please, please know that I am all about donating to charity, giving experience gifts and handmade gifts, curbing clutter, drastically decreasing the number of toys and "stuff" we own - the right spirit is there and it's wonderful to see the simplicity trend catching on. But I think somewhere along the way, we got the "how" a bit backward.<br />
<br />
Here's what I think we can do help flip it back around:<br />
<ul>
<li>At Christmas or a birthday, <b>YOU</b> give your kids an experience gift or one very small tangible gift if you're absolutely compelled. Resist the urge to buy more, or to feel guilty for not buying more/bigger/better. </li>
<li>Keep purchases for your kids to a minimum <b>during the rest of the year</b>, knowing that your gift-crazy family will stock them up a couple times a year. Focus on meeting basic needs.</li>
<li><b>Purge </b>your home regularly, ruthlessly, all year long.</li>
<li><b>In short, own less stuff in the first place. </b>If you are willing to dig in and make some real changes, I promise the holiday or birthday onslaught won't seem as daunting anymore.</li>
</ul>
And finally, this debate is really for another day, but you can also control the size of your kids' birthday parties. Somewhere between my childhood and my kids' generation, it became normal to invite your entire school class to your birthday party. It's a vicious cycle because if a couple kids do it, suddenly you feel the pressure to do it too, for fear of leaving kids out. Of course, the larger the party, the more likely the parents will feel the need to request no gifts. I find that very small parties with just a couple friends are even better than moderately-sized parties, because other kids are less likely to feel left out of what's basically a glorified playdate (that's arguably more meaningful and memorable than a giant party anyway). If you really want to invite the whole class, consider it a challenge for your child to ditch a whole lot of his stuff beforehand.<br />
<br />
Anyway, all I'm saying is the invite list is another thing <i><b>you</b></i> control. You just need to man-up and make choices. If you love hosting huge gatherings and parties, you have 300+ other days of the year to choose from. Go nuts. (I mean that. Hospitality, family, and community are so important! More parties for no other reason than togetherness, please!)<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7b5vqKFOqLKv6_xR3u5302tFrHRg_IiWitvHLV-9sQprfglulmRo0744qk_GtGMK5Xt4p6xrxK5qkAXqojFOwj34i4zAHsePwL4f_UX8ik7xmcd6yJkxXZ3uSCYU8w73Bf1GlW5fnO9g/s1600/IMG_6195.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7b5vqKFOqLKv6_xR3u5302tFrHRg_IiWitvHLV-9sQprfglulmRo0744qk_GtGMK5Xt4p6xrxK5qkAXqojFOwj34i4zAHsePwL4f_UX8ik7xmcd6yJkxXZ3uSCYU8w73Bf1GlW5fnO9g/s400/IMG_6195.JPG" height="400" width="363" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
2. <b>Keep your mouth shut and lead by example.</b><br />
<br />
Let Great Aunt Henrietta do what she's going to do, but meanwhile, <b>give experience gifts to your family and friends, adults and kids alike.</b> Be patient, but I guarantee if you do this for your family at enough birthdays and holidays, at least some of them will catch on. They'll be having so much fun with experiences they receive that they'll want to get in on the action. You may even win over <i>some</i> of the Givers, at least in part. They'll no doubt still sneak something material in. But you're much more relaxed about that now, and the Giver is happy and free to love.<br />
<br />
And, don't forget, the presentation can still be nice and gift-y. There's no reason to just announce: "Guess what, your present is we're going to the movies together!" You can wrap experience gifts--decorate an envelope, have kids draw a picture of the activity, wrap something they will use at the experience or will remind them of it. Be creative. It takes bravery at first, as you may worry that the recipient (or others at the gathering) will see it as some sort of cop-out or not a "real" gift. The gifted experience will most often take place at a later date, so the sense of immediate gratification that comes with opening a traditional present may be missing. But try to let that go. Chances are they will have a lot of fun and the gift will be memorable when it happens.<br />
<br />
If you sense certain family members are up for it, there's no harm in bringing up the idea of drawing names to reduce the total number of gifts, or skipping gift exchanges altogether. If you can manage holidays with less consumerism and clutter in any way you can, while still respecting your loved ones and how they love, I say more power to you. But if you know you have a Giver-with-a-capital-G in the family, there's just no point in pushing the issue. You end up with hurt feelings, bitterness, and other family-ickiness that you probably already have enough of anyway. I watch my parent-friends bang their heads against this year after year. It's not worth it. <br />
<br />
Anyway, I wanted to consolidate and share my thoughts on this topic. No solution is perfect, but I hope we can at least look deeper into the nuances of relationship dynamics, giving, and receiving, as well as thoroughly examine our own choices, before we try to put a bandaid on the problem.<br />
<br />
Happier Holidays.<br />
<br />Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-81398242769997250332012-09-06T04:26:00.003-07:002012-09-06T04:33:03.397-07:00My Top 5 Tips for a Less Cluttered-Looking Home<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div>
Everyone knows #1 and #2. Take it to the next level by adopting #3, 4 and 5.</div>
<ol>
<li><b>Own less stuff.</b> This
is always takes precedence over “organizing” your stuff. The Container Store is not your friend. Before you run out to buy an "organizing" tool to contain something you feel you must keep, try getting rid of something else and using the remaining space you've gained differently. But with that said...</li>
<li><b>Everything you own
must have its own home</b> – a place where it belongs and can always go back
to – down to the tiniest random thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And unless it’s on display for its aesthetic value or has a specific
purpose for being out all the time, this home is not just “out” on a shelf or
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s away, - in a drawer,
cabinet, box, etc - unseen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>When in a room, you should not be <u>looking</u>
at anything that doesn’t have a specific function or beauty exactly where it
is.</b></li>
<li><b>No appliances permanently
stored on the kitchen counter</b> - even if it’s rather large or you use it
every day, like a coffee maker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And even
if you do end up keeping it out most of the time, at least keep a specific
place for it that’s “away” for the times you want it away (i.e if you're cleaning
the counters or expecting company).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>If you think it’s too inconvenient to be
constantly getting stuff in and out, just try it.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Put all your small appliances away for a
couple days, getting them out only when used, and see how you feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You might get addicted.</li>
<li><b>No toys stored (visibly)
in the main living area.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This
doesn’t mean kids can’t play with stuff here.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Just make sure every toy’s “put-back-place” is in the kids’ room or
playroom or a closet or whatever you have.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If you must store them in the main living area, find something you can
completely close so you don’t have to look at them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>Visible
toys will almost always look like clutter.</b></li>
<li><b>Cut down on surface
areas by rethinking the type of furniture you own.</b> <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Adopt a “defense is the best offense”
mentality with surface areas. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Surfaces
are the biggest clutter magnet in your home, so why not try to eliminate or
shrink some of them? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You can make a
trade by selling one piece of furniture and getting something with the same
function but a smaller surface area instead. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b>Anytime
you’re considering a furniture purchase, think about what type of surface area
it will create.</b><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the market for a
new computer desk?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Try to find one with
the smallest surface area possible for what you need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Opt
for tall furniture with a not-as-reachable top so you’ll be less likely to plop
things down on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Opt out of other
unnecessary surfaces.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For example, we
don’t own nightstands – use a ceiling or floor lamp and a small plastic bin or
basket tucked under your bed for whatever else you absolutely need within
reach. </li>
</ol>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvo_94bsIyLy8vSZUGBXtQmhtYRPfzxRH47HpOzTmix9aOp5dji6kZMEdhGdMHhY6Z8qJRWHjeuEy6EjdSaM0NfxP3TWKuJxHTK1yRqb73dzuRUPUXBa1LWYF6kV0aKk58v0d8Aro5vrM/s1600/IMAG1050.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvo_94bsIyLy8vSZUGBXtQmhtYRPfzxRH47HpOzTmix9aOp5dji6kZMEdhGdMHhY6Z8qJRWHjeuEy6EjdSaM0NfxP3TWKuJxHTK1yRqb73dzuRUPUXBa1LWYF6kV0aKk58v0d8Aro5vrM/s320/IMAG1050.jpg" width="191" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Even that tiny space beside my computer attracts clutter! (I only moved it for the picture. In retrospect, my point would have been better made if I'd left it. You'll have to imagine a random cord, 2 bits of paper, and some pistachio shells)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<!--EndFragment-->Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-39570992445893824012012-05-26T11:35:00.000-07:002012-05-27T14:05:06.680-07:00We Can't Afford It - Or Can We?A friend of mine brought up the topic of summer camps other day. Like many middle class parents we know, her goal is to book the kids up with camps, so the kids stay busy and the parents stay sane.<br />
<br />
In the past we've enrolled our kids in camp, maybe one week out of the summer for 1-3 hours a day that week. A couple years ago, my best friend and I decided to put on our own soccer camp to save money, and so our younger kids could participate along with their older siblings.<br />
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<br />
<br />
Camps cost money, and when I consider all-summer-long camps for two kids, my first instinct is to tell myself, "We can't afford that." But it bothers me when people say, "We can't afford it." It could be anything - from a new car or a vacation, to smaller splurges like eating out or a buying certain toy or and outing for the kids. Sure, sometimes this is absolutely true. For an extreme example, I can't afford to go buy a jet. I literally and objectively do not have enough money.<br />
<br />
I just think, in general, we throw that phrase around too loosely. In many cases, for the smaller items or activities, if we reworked our finances, made sacrifices, saved, planned, and budgeted carefully, we could totally afford whatever it is. Sometimes this is even true for the "big" stuff. If it was a priority, we could do it. If it was that important to me, I could send my kids to summer camp every day all day for the entire summer. I won't delve into the reasons why this is not a priority for me and why I'd rather spend my money on something else, but the point is, objectively speaking, I have enough money - it IS possible. To say we can't afford it feels an awful lot like a lie.<br />
<br />
I know I'm splitting hairs, but I prefer the phrase, "It's not in my budget right now." To me, this statement at least implies a sense of forethought and flexibility of thinking. A budget can be reworked and revised, with money shuffled in any number of ways, as long as it comes out balanced in the end. If you wanted to go even stronger, you could say, "I'd rather spend my money on something else," - but although true, I think this would come across as rude. However, to at least THINK that phrase to yourself the next time you're contemplating a purchase is much less defeatist and much more empowering. Really, it's just less whiny.<br />
<br />
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<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
On a related note, my husband has always had a similar issue with with the phrase, "I'm too busy." People often say they are too busy for something, but what they really mean is that it's not a high priority. We actually mean we have not budgeted time for it, but rather we have given that time to something else that is more important in our eyes instead. If we reworked our "time budget," in most cases, we could make the time.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
What would be a good alternate phrase for "I'm too busy." Is "it's not a priority for me right now" too strong? How about, "It's not in my time budget?"</div>
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I'll think about it. Meanwhile, enjoy these photos of Homemade Soccer Camp 2010. Because you have to admit, they're pretty cute.</div>
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<br />Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-18423876435768319372012-04-26T20:50:00.001-07:002012-04-26T20:59:18.241-07:00Heavy vs. Hovering<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When we tell our friends that we are moving
to Europe, a frequent comment is, “Wow, how fortunate you had already been
minimizing and getting rid of so much stuff!”
And they are correct. The move
will be much simpler because of it, and we will be able to easily fit
everything we own into small European living quarters. <o:p></o:p></span>
<br />
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">But the nuance that many overlook is that a big
part of a reason we are making this move is BECAUSE we simplified and
downsized. It’s not just a nice coincidental
side benefit. Rather, it’s actually one
of the key causes of the move in the first place.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I believe it’s all about attitude and state
of mind, which is backed up by your “physical” life. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It’s
about the direction in which your life is already pointing.<o:p></o:p></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, humor me for a couple minutes. Picture a 2500 square foot house (about
average these days in the U.S. – can you believe it?). Picture it full of stuff. Not excessive, hoarder-level stuff—just the
typical U.S. household. Multiple couches, beds,
dressers full of clothes, bookshelves full of books, entertainment centers and
equipment, 2 or more cars, recreational equipment, bins of decorations for
various holidays, kids toys and gear, house and yard care equipment, rarely used "formal" or "spare" rooms with rarely used furniture, etc.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">When I picture this dwelling, these are the
words and feelings that fill my senses:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Heaviness<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Weight<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Roots<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Planted<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Entrenched<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Dug in<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Permanence<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pointing down, into the ground<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Now picture a house maybe ½ that size. Picture very sparse furniture, and none of it
very heavy (i.e. beds with just a frame, no large, heavy head and foot
boards). Picture it containing
relatively limited amounts of the items in the larger house, such as extensive holiday
decorations, bookshelves, dressers, multiple cars, and lots of stuff in
indefinite “storage” in the garage.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYL4C7u7JFXfCAbO5zNK7jOurvgrYHSkvBD-Oy2qds9QwuI1yel9YsEyVXknqlhyphenhyphenSJT0hrtJ0VxPuGuLhIMI4MHd_OcpMce-YS_liFyqMi79NbyGC_sOYpv5JoqPgfW2i7ljAhvmm808o/s1600/carol+ann+ct+bedroom+2.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYL4C7u7JFXfCAbO5zNK7jOurvgrYHSkvBD-Oy2qds9QwuI1yel9YsEyVXknqlhyphenhyphenSJT0hrtJ0VxPuGuLhIMI4MHd_OcpMce-YS_liFyqMi79NbyGC_sOYpv5JoqPgfW2i7ljAhvmm808o/s320/carol+ann+ct+bedroom+2.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">(bedroom = a bed room. period.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(Now for those of you who are already
thinking “bland and boring,” I’ll just quickly interject one of my favorite
quotes: </span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">"Minimalism
may appear plain and boring to begin with, but that is only true when your view
of life is limited to physical possessions.")</span><span style="font-family: Calibri;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Anyhow, when I picture this second dwelling,
these are the words and feelings that fill my senses:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Lightness<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Weightlessness<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hovering<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Floating<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Flexiblity<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Portablility<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Free space<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Clarity<o:p></o:p></span></div>
</div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Pointing outward, upward<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The more (and heavier) physical possessions
you acquire, the more you physically entrench yourself where you are. I’m not typically a “new age” sort of gal,
but I really believe it’s a life energy you embody. I am in no way saying that a person or
family with a big house and a lot of heavy stuff doesn’t move overseas (or
whether they should or shouldn’t). It happens all the time.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I just think it’s often slower and
harder. You have more to “lose,” and you
have to sort of dig yourself out of where you are so heavily planted to look up and
out, before you see or open yourself to the possibility. You may not even think it’s possible, or
focus primarily on the reasons it’s not. You may casually hope that it would “happen to
you.” But you must make the transition
from looking downward and inward to looking upward and outward, and there’s
some inertia that accompanies the physical heaviness of your life that you must overcome
to do so. And even if you do go, you may
find that you can’t bring everything you own; you must leave some of its girth
and bulk behind. But you “might need it
again someday,” so its weight stays with you and you can never fully detach
from it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">All I’m saying is that minimalism and this
move are connected more intimately than you might think. We didn’t wish an opportunity to move
overseas would someday “happen to us.” We
were already ready. We were looking
outward. We were open. We had little to risk and much to gain. We were light, floating—ready to seize an opportunity
at a moment’s notice. We were hovering.</span></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Calibri;"><br /></span>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-43204708002157945182012-02-23T20:07:00.006-08:002012-02-23T23:17:17.092-08:00Curly Girl<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI0tP8n7J_lrcpi53Om7NM7jrGFGv0b4dUtd7covnvUsFy0kZl1J9u9O_kynjLy898QOchO_mhOq26tYOtNV4O8XZXcQjvnHhf9pijP33CfCbMb0dyphMAlDD1YUAtwMwKbJohtkmC0r4/s1600/curly_girl_second.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 325px; height: 394px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhI0tP8n7J_lrcpi53Om7NM7jrGFGv0b4dUtd7covnvUsFy0kZl1J9u9O_kynjLy898QOchO_mhOq26tYOtNV4O8XZXcQjvnHhf9pijP33CfCbMb0dyphMAlDD1YUAtwMwKbJohtkmC0r4/s400/curly_girl_second.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712566390707362978" /></a><br />I read <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Curly-Girl-Handbook-Lorraine-Massey/dp/076115678X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330060166&sr=8-1">this book</a> and it changed my life.<div><br /></div><div>And it was about hair.</div><div><br /></div><div>I've read a few books that have changed my life, actually. But hair? Silliness, right?</div><div><br /></div><div>I've never been overly concerned with my outward appearance. As a child and even a teenager, I was a tomboy. My careers as a teacher and then stay-at-home mom, while demanding, never demanded high fashion. In my thirties I've displayed a bit more effort figuring out how to be a grown up. I've worked a little on my wardrobe and on wearing real makeup for grown up women every once in awhile. I exercise. Sure, I go through phases of more heightened vanity, and the occasional boredom-inspired bout of "caring," but ultimately I've gotta be on the low end of the spectrum when it comes to maintenance of my looks. Just don't care enough to spend the time and money to look anything beyond "presentable," at least at this stage of my life (she says as the TV cameras swoop in for horrific surprise makeover).</div><div><br /></div><div>I've occasionally blow-dried my hair straight over the years, and I've experimented with a flat-iron in the last few months. And I tend to get compliments on my hair when it's straight (and I admit I feel a slight twinge of sadness when that happens). I'll often straighten it if I know an important photo will be taken. Because, with curly hair, and as only a curly girl can testify, <i>you just never know</i>. </div><div><br /></div><div>Suffice it to say, the real F-word is "Frizz."</div><div><br /></div><div>If you have curly hair, or even a bit wavy hair, and especially if you have a <i>daughter</i> with curly hair, you must read this book. Even if you decide not to follow the hair-care instructions exactly*, the overall message is important: Stop trying to make your hair into something it's not. Embrace what it is as beautiful, and treat it tender care. Ditch the blow-dryers and flat-irons and chemical relaxers (and even combs and regular shampoos!) and begin treating your hair the way curly hair likes to be treated. Even occasionally dabbling in that stuff will only set you back. With patience, allow your curly hair to become the best curly hair it can be, and be a good role model for the other curly girls in your life by accepting it joyfully. </div><div><br /></div><div>So, in the end, hair is hair. It doesn't define who we are or our worth. But we can all do a better job accepting ourselves, both outside and in.</div><div><br /></div><div>I can get behind that.</div><div><br /></div><div>*they've been working very well on my hair for the past couple weeks!</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-70544755484349261372011-12-07T16:01:00.001-08:002011-12-07T23:36:13.942-08:00Proactive Helping<div>My main disclaimer here is that I'm writing this as a reminder to myself!</div><div><br /></div><div>We hear a friend or relative is having a difficult time. We sympathize, or even deeply empathize. We want to help. So, we respond:</div><div><br /></div><div><div>"Let me know if you need anything. Really, I mean it! Don't hesitate to ask."</div><div>"Let me know if you'd like me to bring you a meal."</div><div>"Let me know if you want to come over for dinner."</div><div>"Call me if you need to talk."</div><div>"Let me know if I can help."</div></div><div>"I'll be thinking of you."</div><div><br /></div>Our offers of help and comfort are sincere and well-intentioned. Encouraging words are wonderful. Letting someone know you care and you're there if they need you is great. All of these gestures are welcome and appreciated. All our responses come from a real, heartfelt desire to help.<div><br /></div><div>But, if you're the one who's struggling, how often do you actually contact these people and ask them to make good on their offers???<br /><div><br /></div><div>If you're like me, the answer is almost never. Or, possibly, just plain never.</div><div><br /></div><div>But here's what I think is the real problem. When we're on the help-offering end, although we sincerely feel for the person, we're not <i><b>really</b></i> taking the initiative - taking action. I fervently believe we can't just assume that if they didn't call or contact you, they must be okay. In a culture where people don't drop by unannounced, we live separate from our extended families, we value privacy, we like to be independent and in control, (and if we're brutally honest, we're just too busy and over-scheduled with our own stuff to do things for others), there are so many barriers on both sides to tangibly helping each other.</div><div><div><br /></div><div>To overcome these obstacles, I think we need to change our response. So, the next time you know of a friend in need, you might try one of these approaches:</div><div><br /></div><div>"I would like to bring you dinner. What day can I bring one next week? Wednesday, Friday or Saturday would work great on my end, will any of those work for you?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"I'd like to drop a meal off on Monday afternoon and you can put it in the freezer for when you need it. Let me know when you'll be home."</div><div><br /></div><div>"I would like to have you over for dinner. What day works for you next week? Friday's a good day for us, but if that doesn't work let's figure out something else."</div></div><div><br /></div><div>"I would like to take your kids for a couple hours next week - will Thursday morning work for you?"</div><div><br /></div><div>"I'd like to come over Saturday and help you move/unpack/keep you company/help with XYZ...what time should I show up?"</div><div><br /></div><div>Any of these approaches get a real conversation going between you and your friend. It becomes a given that the help WILL happen - it's only a matter of where and when.</div><div><br /></div><div>And CALL! It's much harder for someone to pass up your offer when you have the person on the phone. We all know that in this day and age, an actual call means so much.</div><div><br /></div><div>Or, dare I say, don't even ask. Just figure out a way to show up at the door, drop something off, etc. We can make excuses all day long for why this isn't appropriate, or what if they're in their pajamas or not home...just get past this and figure out a way to make it happen. </div><div><br /></div><div>And take it a step further - if your first attempt doesn't work for schedule or logistical or unexpected reasons, avoid thinking, "we'll, I tried." Most of the time you can tell if they did really want it to work out somehow. Figure out a way to reschedule or try a different strategy or mode of helping. So many of us pride ourselves on being persistent and driven in other aspects of our lives; we can certainly channel these qualities into helping others.</div><div><br /></div><div>I know we can't all do this for everyone all the time. But I sure think it would be great if we could try it more often. Let's get all up in each others' lives and business, yo?</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, that's all.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div></div>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-78107494141152734582011-11-17T21:56:00.000-08:002011-11-17T22:31:10.630-08:00Ditchin’ the DVDs<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnyvY0vXXZ_nX_-ZQDEq1riANZz7545L56M5sejDnXfufw6szcOBktXxlIOb1X2pxdugs6eFFbPRVC2br6TSXBq9UN1ME0Dhi9mNX9zPlqF8juRGAF42PVxaI0y4BejqRB78jPX8SyjDs/s1600/IMG_8723.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" 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0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">Well, the cases anyway.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This was harder than I thought it would be.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But I don’t know why I didn’t think of it sooner.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span></p><p class="MsoNormal">We’ve already been gradually whittling down our books and DVDs.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Eventually, we’ll probably be close to 100% digital/cloud/whatever, but until time and money permit, we’ll just work with what we have and continue gradually purging anything we wouldn’t want to watch/read over and over again, or loan out to friends. We don't currently have Netflix or HuluPlus or anything like that.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Just to be clear, I love old-fashioned, regular old books and will probably always have a few favorites around to treasure.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But I don’t need tons.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We are avid patrons of the public library.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>One shelf-worth of grown-up books and one shelf of kid books to own at any given time will suffice for me.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Except for a handful of odds and ends in storage, we’re pretty much down to that after my latest purge.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">But back to the DVDs. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> Today </span>I ditched the cases and liner notes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It was hard – some of them really are kind of special. The Lord of the Rings Extended Edition has lovely artwork all over the box.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>West Side Story Collector’s Edition comes with a script.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But like many of you, I did this with my CDs a long time ago.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>I had to ask myself now, do I ever think longly about all those liner notes and cases?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>The answer is no.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>So I was ready.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal">I had an old CD binder laying around with a few random CDs in it, so once I sorted through those and consolidated, I used that binder for all the DVDs. Now I can get rid of an entire bookcase in my bedroom (also used to contain a few books, but was able to consolidate those to the one-kid-one-adult-shelves) and a crap-load of worthless plastic. And our movie collection is now so portable, compact, and easily accessed, at least considering it's non-digital.</p><p class="MsoNormal">And it was hard--but only while I was actually doing it. Now, I'm completely fine. And that reminded me of an important downsizing lesson. A lot of people tell me they just can't do it. They may be referring to a certain item or a group of items. They really would like to do it, but just can't. Today, I was reminded that, yes, it is kind of a bummer and it does actually hurt! I realized that I need to do a better job of acknowledging that this is true. </p><p class="MsoNormal">It hurts, but the end result is worth it, and it feels great. </p><p class="MsoNormal">Like so many things in life, eh?</p><p class="MsoNormal">Note: We're still holding on to our actual CDs in a binder because we like to listen to them in our older-model car on road trips, but I once I have time to make sure they're all burned into iTunes and I'll probably ditch 99% of them. It's a process!</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-89732136772978928522011-11-04T17:02:00.000-07:002011-11-04T17:28:03.244-07:00Top 10 Reasons Why a Minimalsist Would Host a Jewelry Party<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFnA2pPYEm77UrW-QEdmKlj1hmZzVuV1ZagyGPc10uPnQ2SnMZoVdgk8j0-4fCWtZ6_-CUK6qnkDk7Ux53gH8jJVOHquhijzSS4ihWotFrWzwJIaVaNa3zncC6FSLmAOQmHsRJUvUGqro/s1600/40541_139474379419815_139218649445388_243886_7567665_n.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFnA2pPYEm77UrW-QEdmKlj1hmZzVuV1ZagyGPc10uPnQ2SnMZoVdgk8j0-4fCWtZ6_-CUK6qnkDk7Ux53gH8jJVOHquhijzSS4ihWotFrWzwJIaVaNa3zncC6FSLmAOQmHsRJUvUGqro/s400/40541_139474379419815_139218649445388_243886_7567665_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5671296304282833362" /></a><br />(Okay, why <b><i>this</i></b> minimalist would host a jewelry party. Not speaking for all of them.)<div><br /></div><div>I suppose to some, "minimalist" and "jewelry party" could appear to be a contradiction in terms. For the benefit of all the doubters, nay-sayers, and people who enjoy mocking me out of general principle, I made this list of reasons why I'm hosting one.</div><div><br /></div><div>Without further ado, in no particular order:<br /><ol><li><b>The Jeweler</b>. Nikki is a super cool person and I want an excuse to hang out with her and introduce others to her awesomeness. She is funny, smart, genuine, brave, extremely generous, and also one-of-a-kind – just like her jewelry!</li><li><b>The story of Nikki’s jewelry business is inspiring</b>. A couple of years ago her husband was out of work and they needed to put food on the table. She tapped into her creativity to help take care of her family. I love that! </li><li>Nikki <b>reuses and recycles many materials</b> in her jewelry. Reducing waste and being resourceful – what could be more minimalist than that? </li><li><b>Accessories are a minimalist’s plucky sidekick.</b> They allow you to own fewer clothes and make outfits “different” by varying the accessories. Jewelry, in particular, takes up so much less space than clothes.</li><li><b>Girl time. Adult conversation. ‘Nuff said.</b></li><li><b>Hospitality is one of my core values.</b> But I’m not a natural at this – it tends to stress me out, balancing getting food ready (ooo, not a natural at this either, even under normal circumstances) and the house clean while simultaneously managing the kids. But I think it is important, and I like the end result, so it’s good practice for me.</li><li><b>I will be extra lonely.</b> Pete will be in France for much of November and December and I won’t be able to go out, so why not have people in? (Yep, I just played the pity card.)</li><li><b>People have been asking me to</b> host another one. I don’t like to disappoint. </li><li><b>It’s more like an art show</b> than a typical hostess party. I want people to come admire art, celebrate creativity, and be inspired.</li><li><b>An excuse to eat yummy snacks.</b> And yes, I will provide wine.</li></ol>So come check out some Pierced Zebra Jewelry on Wednesday, November 30th, anytime between 7-9pm, my place! </div><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsFIMAIiQWSpU5ABQDHUoapHm7p5Rn_L_SGCtZcPIrMfkEnUpghsNxtWiyxsRCFPlTOcyZCjlXfOeBWViKwuElI2ri9NbikZLaJ0JV9Q9XgtyZmVsqZBbBSZfpTDYBRI7fLsjTuX3-c4I/s1600/207346_201859106514675_139218649445388_610642_4217245_n.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsFIMAIiQWSpU5ABQDHUoapHm7p5Rn_L_SGCtZcPIrMfkEnUpghsNxtWiyxsRCFPlTOcyZCjlXfOeBWViKwuElI2ri9NbikZLaJ0JV9Q9XgtyZmVsqZBbBSZfpTDYBRI7fLsjTuX3-c4I/s400/207346_201859106514675_139218649445388_610642_4217245_n.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5671296302695964674" /></a>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-77457408112328756712011-10-11T15:33:00.000-07:002011-10-11T16:42:40.880-07:00Craigslist Tips - Selling<div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#666666;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';">Disclaimers:</span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><ul><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">I’m not a CL expert. I just like it.</span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">The simplest way to get rid of something is to <a href="http://acupofrosieleigh.blogspot.com/2011/06/simple-decluttering_6346.html">donate it without a tax receipt</a></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">. </span></span></li><li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">These are not safety tips. I find safety tips to be quite dull. I’ll let you figure out if you want to invite your buyer into your living room for a cup of tea, or meet in a public location with body guards. Everyone has a different comfort level. </span></li></ul></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#666666;"><span style="background- font-weight: normal; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; "></span><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">For the purpose of this post, let’s say you are selling, oh, a <a href="http://acupofrosieleigh.blogspot.com/2011/06/no-more-nightstands.html">nightstand</a></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#666666;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">.</span></span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;color:#666666;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';"><br /></span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#666666;"><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">1. Be </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">mindful of common misspellings, alternate names and spacing, and plural versions. I usually type some of these words at the bottom of the post just to catch anyone who spells it “night stands” instead of “nightstands.”</span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">2. Scope </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">out the competition - do a search for your item to find out what other people are selling similar items for and try to be the best deal out there. Also keep in mind that if you live way out in the boonies you might need to offer a lower price.</span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">3. Post </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">big pictures - you have the option of uploading 4 pictures at the bottom of your post. All well and good. But if you’ve seen the ads with “img” at the end instead of “pic,” these have lots and lots of huge pictures. You want to be one of these, particularly if you’re selling a more expensive or nuanced item. I’m sure there are lots of ways to do this, but I use photobucket.com. I upload the pictures to this site, shrink them a bit so the post doesn’t take ages to load, and copy the HTML code it generates into the text of your post. I really do think items sell better and faster when I take the time to do this step.</span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">4. Use </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">a separate email address dedicated to your craigslist account. That way, if you’ve got an email account that saves the address of everyone who emails you, your contacts won’t be clogged with the addresses of everyone who showed interest in your crap at one time or another.</span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">5. Tell the </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">buyer exactly what he/she needs to do. I typically say:</span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">“Please email with:</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">1) your name </span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">2) your phone number</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">3) time/day you can pick up.</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">4) city or general area you’re coming from</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">I only recently started including #4, especially if I know I’m going to get a lot of responses. It’s just another way of filtering through otherwise equal candidates and potentially speeding up the process. Anyway, this list gives you the info you want, while also weeding out the non-serious, too picky, or simply incoherent folks. Subsequently, this becomes the type of response email you are looking for:</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre; "> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre; "> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">“Hi,</span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre; "> </span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre; "> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; ">1) Joe Smith</span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); "><span class="Apple-tab-span"></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre; "> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;">2) 503-999-9999</span></span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); "><span class="Apple-tab-span"></span><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre; "> </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap;">3) 1pm today</span></span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"> 4) SW Portland</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); "><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; "><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre; "> </span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); "><span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap; ">Thanks.”</span></span></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">Joe Smith can read and follow directions. Thus, he will find my house. He will bring money - actual U.S. currency, and maybe not even a giant plastic bag of coins. He will not be trying to drive here from Eastern Oregon. He’s not asking picky questions about the merchandise, he’s motivated and he wants it as-is. All valuable (yet sadly rare) characteristics among craigslist shoppers. And yes, the most awesome people will actually number back their responses like that!</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">6. I never put my own phone number in the ad because I don’t like giving up control over who I actually talk to. Let your email be your initial filter. This is not a safety tip. It is a control-freak tip.</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">7. The goal is to make it go away - the money is only an added bonus. My husband would say I price things way too low. But he can’t argue with the fact that our stuff sells fast, often within the hour. Maybe you like waiting around to see how much money you can get. But for me, once I have decided I don’t want something, it’s as if it begins to rot in my house. When it’s gone, I can stop thinking about it and move on with my life. This is a letting-go-of-stuff muscle that gets better with practice.</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(102, 102, 102); white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;">8. Don’t forget the “free” option! I know this post is supposed to be about selling stuff but I just couldn't resist! There’s nothing better than having someone take a gigantic something you don’t want anymore off your hands. Don't get hung up on missing a tax credit, you'll live. It's worth it to see who gets to have your stuff - they are always happy and grateful for the gift.</span></div><div style="background- ;color:transparent;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;color:#666666;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre-wrap; font-family:'trebuchet ms';font-size:100%;color:#666666;">What are your favorite Craigslist "selling" tips?</span></div></div>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-17172925984796504402011-09-11T20:45:00.000-07:002011-09-11T21:30:56.745-07:00Blanks<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:officedocumentsettings> <o:allowpng/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> 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unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--> <!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-font-family:Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNormal">Sometimes I just wonder..<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s fall.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>New routines, new activities, and new schedules.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Of course, we’ve got to have our kids involved in “extracurriculars.” It’s just what we <a href="http://acupofrosieleigh.blogspot.com/2011/06/slow-down-and-take-bus.html">M/UMCs</a> do. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They’ve got to have an opportunity to make friends, to learn “socialization.” <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They’ve got to develop a skill, a passion, a talent.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They’ve got to develop their strengths.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And shore up their weaknesses.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Be well-rounded individuals.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They’ve got to get exercise, learn teamwork, leadership, or to just plain follow directions.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They must have fun – structured, organized fun.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>They’ve got to keep up academically. <span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And whatever they do, they’ve got to start early/right away/ASAP/yikes, we should have started last year!<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s fall.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We run from activity to activity.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s fall.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Our schedules are full.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">It’s fall.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We are already stressed, over-extended, overwhelmed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We are BUSY.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">But it’s okay.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We’re all in the same busy-busy-boat.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Our culture acknowledges this.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>So now, we are taught it’s okay to say NO.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We must learn to say NO, even to the good opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>It’s healthy and right and good and sanity-preserving to say NO.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">So now we go around being busy and saying NO all the time.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Does this seem backwards to anyone else?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sure, you’ve got to learn to say NO.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But what is not emphasized enough, I believe, is saying NO a little earlier in the process.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Saying NO at the beginning, before we’re even close to full.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Leaving blanks.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Big, fat, awkward-feeling blanks.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Just leave them there.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">Until …<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">We are needed.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>By someone else.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>By another family.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span><o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Until we can say YES when it counts.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Blanks are opportunities to give ourselves to others when the unexpected need strikes.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What percentage of needs are unplanned and unexpected?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">(That was a rhetorical question.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But I’m betting it’s most.)<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Blanks are opportunities to teach our kids that life isn’t about us and our own activities and interests.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Sure, we can do special service projects around the holidays or sprinkled throughout the year and involve our children.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>We can repeatedly admonish them, “Life isn’t about you all the time!”<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>But, in reality, life IS about ourselves and our personal enrichment activities 95% of the time. <o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What if instead, we taught and practiced service together as a day-to-day lifestyle?<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">To do this, ya gotta have blanks.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Lots of gigantic ones.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I have a new kindergartener this year.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Maybe that’s why I’m thinking about and picking on “extracurricular activities” right now – but this could apply to all our involvements and commitments at any age.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>As I begin to make decisions about all those “extracurriculars,” sometimes I just wonder….<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What if our kids’ extracurricular activity was being available to help and be a friend to others?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>Just whenever.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>What if we developed this as a special talent, as a way to have fun, in our kids and in our family unit?<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>“Who can we help today, kids?”<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">What if we said NO.<span style="mso-spacerun:yes"> </span>And left it all blank. Or at least mostly blank.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sometimes I just wonder...<o:p></o:p></p> <!--EndFragment-->Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-80529652728373176282011-08-30T22:36:00.000-07:002011-09-04T11:13:57.726-07:00Help with "The Wanties" <div class="quoteText"> <span style="font-style: italic;">"<span style="font-weight: bold;">Gratitude</span> unlocks the fullness of life. <span style="font-weight: bold;">It turns what we have into enough, and more. </span>It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, <span style="font-weight: bold;">brings peace for today</span> and creates a vision for tomorrow." </span>
<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"> — </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4482.Melody_Beattie">Melody Beattie</a> </div>
<br />As a budding minimalist, I still like to randomly spend money once in awhile, particularly on my kids - a quality-non-plasticy-toy, fun art supplies, good books, clothes. It's just fun. Retail therapy. Something to do. Or just a case of "the wanties." And, really, sometimes the stuff is cute and good and useful and edifying and, and, and....I'm convinced I can justify any purchase one way or another if the funds are there.
<br />
<br />One thing that has really helped me lately, when I'm about to buy something, is to stop and think about what I have. By that, I don't mean just make a mental list. It's deeper and more thorough than that.
<br />
<br />Let's say I want to buy a new set of markers or other drawing/coloring implement for my kids - because it's kind of cool or different than what we already have. I'm sure my kids would love it and get good use out of it and it doesn't take up too much space and it's a good price and it's totally in my kid stuff budget and I get 20% off because it's from where I work and it's good quality and it's for <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">doing art</span> for goodness sake there are worse things.
<br />
<br />Bam. Justified.
<br />
<br />But I stop for a moment. I go through a checklist of the art supplies we have at home. But then I picture actually getting them out, handling them, looking at them. I picture them in detail. I picture setting them up for the kids. I picture the kids sitting at the table working on their creations. I picture the art they create. I picture their proud smiles as they show me what they've made. I picture putting it all away. I take a moment to be grateful.
<br />
<br />This process goes a long way to curb shopping, particularly impulse shopping. The sense of gratitude begins to overwhelm that "wanty" feeling. I am now trying to teach my kids to do this at the store as well. My daughter is nearly six and it works pretty well with her.
<br />
<br />And, if you have too much stuff at home in any category, you will have a hard time picturing each individual item you already own (hello, item-in-closet-with-tags-still-on), and by definition you probably don't need more, even if it's a slightly different item.
<br />
<br />Could your kids give you a relatively accurate inventory of their toys? Just curious.
<br />
<br />Anyway, it helps me. Maybe it will help you.
<br />Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-90976847251586999452011-08-04T17:44:00.000-07:002011-08-04T18:07:21.196-07:00The House Dilemma - Part 2<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_VayRUBJABUg-S-UzWicL20pqbqfgwto7vk86baNiLrVT4W2B-K5z68r75O7FZoLAugL5lloT6Ei3l_z-rQwWupgk4KzfUIzJwh5Q1su6ZcXh6Wke3V6nkih29ClQxNiboXNbelOhQhA/s1600/IMG_7937.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_VayRUBJABUg-S-UzWicL20pqbqfgwto7vk86baNiLrVT4W2B-K5z68r75O7FZoLAugL5lloT6Ei3l_z-rQwWupgk4KzfUIzJwh5Q1su6ZcXh6Wke3V6nkih29ClQxNiboXNbelOhQhA/s400/IMG_7937.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637167461992176706" border="0" /></a><br />Previously on A Cup of Rosie Leigh, I described how I’ve always pictured our family eventually upgrading to a larger home and settling there “forever,” but how that ideal has shifted over the past year or so. I also explained that while I’m completely on board with whittling away our possessions and quelling the acquisition of more, somehow “house” found itself in a separate category for me. That dream has stubbornly refused to fade like I feel it should in light of my new outlook on life.<br /><br />A primary reason I’ve dreamed of bigger home is that one of our core values (ideals, maybe at this point) is hospitality, despite the fact that it doesn’t come very naturally to me. I wanted that permanent guest room, so friends and family could enjoy comfort and privacy when they visit. I wanted that large (not necessarily formal) dining room and proportionally sized dining table that accommodates my immediate family plus a gaggle of guests. It just doesn’t feel as warm, hospitable, and embodying the “togetherness” of my mental picture with everyone spread over couches, bar stools, and the floor, engaged in their own isolated conversations.<br /><br />Yeah, poor me. None of these things are actual “needs” and I am fortunate to have what I have. Still, I am always amazed how when you choose to look at life from a simple or minimal or even just low cost point of view, your creativity blossoms. You discover solutions to problems that now seem so obvious, but that you were blinded to in the past. You take the status quo and simply make it work somehow, instead of wasting mental energy wishing for something else. And the solutions you find subsequently open up more doors to even more possibilities. It’s not always that you’re thinking outside of the box, but that the box itself disappears. You begin to realize that the so-called box often involves the perceived expectations of others, or how your situation compares to theirs or to “most people’s” – what is common, typical, expected based on who and where you are. The new and absolutely liberating response is: “Who cares? We play by our own rules.”<br /><br />Enter the folding table. Or should I say tables. Not as a temporary solution until we get a bigger/different house ASAP: a long-term solution. Once I accepted the fact that we are “stuck with” this house until we pay it off (aggressively) or relocate based on an exciting new opportunity, I started seeing it with fresh eyes. I looked at our house (think detached townhome) with its 1690 square feet (only 660ish of which are downstairs and not the greatest use of that space to begin with) and began to think, what can we do with it to meet our desires? It is most certainly “enough,” even more than enough, so what can we do with it to maximize its potential to actually <span style="font-weight: bold;">be enough<span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span> so that we are content? (Okay, Pete’s always been content. It’s all me.) How can our dining room (okay it’s really just a nook, not even a room) best fulfill our desire to “entertain,” such as it were? (Sorry, I REALLY like parentheses and quotation marks!)<br /><br />Our current dining table seats 6 rather snuggly (we bring out 2 folding chairs implement the table leaf for this).<br /><br />Adding one long (20” x 48”) folding table right alongside our current table for $26.99, plus 2 more folding chairs means seating for 8 at what is functionally one table. Adding 2 tables and 2 more folding chairs equals seating for 10. This “new table” extends into our kitchen a bit, but there is still room to get around. Any more than 10 people at one table and it becomes difficult to have one big conversation anyway*. But this would be perfect for, say, my book club, or a gathering of Pete’s relatives or mine who live nearby.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5BcOoxj03CRUjas0839M2MGwk7Q6lrD31E_-0XpLSH5N17H8hCD68VzUkenCGBiBfMWPBzAgZ4xysEObkQonE1EvDGRst_1bK4WzVAwfxR7uvxg7DTdu3eEfHHyigRpAKUKvrDCQH65Y/s1600/IMG_7944.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5BcOoxj03CRUjas0839M2MGwk7Q6lrD31E_-0XpLSH5N17H8hCD68VzUkenCGBiBfMWPBzAgZ4xysEObkQonE1EvDGRst_1bK4WzVAwfxR7uvxg7DTdu3eEfHHyigRpAKUKvrDCQH65Y/s400/IMG_7944.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637168169765702514" border="0" /></a><br />However, what if we DID want to have more at the table? We could actually put our main dining table at an angle, and begin to line up folding tables next to it pointing out into the living room. We could add way more than we’d ever need! Each new table would provide 2 more seats. By golly, I think we could fit 20 people at “one table!” When we’re done eating, we’d just fold everything up and we have our living room back again. Hooray for multifunction, a staple of simple, minimalist living.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin8HbYO5l2iDlFqaEAPOyel088oSUyuWQpdLXVXKzbCkAWB7if81eG5bi3F6G89juZ8PODpI8WPBJdoFTJRyh0hY81iwgBpBYQRW6bIc6XeX2ZwYCubrbcjgKJcebQrn-IABh05jDRauw/s1600/IMG_7941.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin8HbYO5l2iDlFqaEAPOyel088oSUyuWQpdLXVXKzbCkAWB7if81eG5bi3F6G89juZ8PODpI8WPBJdoFTJRyh0hY81iwgBpBYQRW6bIc6XeX2ZwYCubrbcjgKJcebQrn-IABh05jDRauw/s400/IMG_7941.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5637168449338914146" border="0" /></a><br />The “old me” probably wouldn’t have come up with this solution to begin with. It’s not that I’m a stranger to card tables or inexpensive, make-do solutions. Yet, I would never have seen it as a long term fix or reasonable alternative to a bigger dining room – just a somewhat tacky stop-<leo_highlight style="border-bottom: 2px solid rgb(255, 255, 150); background-color: transparent; background-image: none; background-repeat: repeat; background-attachment: scroll; background-position: 0% 50%; -moz-background-size: auto auto; cursor: pointer; display: inline; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial;" id="leoHighlights_Underline_0" onclick="leoHighlightsHandleClick('leoHighlights_Underline_0')" onmouseover="leoHighlightsHandleMouseOver('leoHighlights_Underline_0')" onmouseout="leoHighlightsHandleMouseOut('leoHighlights_Underline_0')" leohighlights_keywords="gap" leohighlights_url_top="http%3A//shortcuts.thebrowserhighlighter.com/leonardo/plugin/highlights/3_2/tbh_highlightsTop.jsp?keywords%3Dgap%26domain%3Dwww.blogger.com" leohighlights_url_bottom="http%3A//shortcuts.thebrowserhighlighter.com/leonardo/plugin/highlights/3_2/tbh_highlightsBottom.jsp?keywords%3Dgap%26domain%3Dwww.blogger.com" leohighlights_underline="true">gap</leo_highlight>. Now, I have no choice but to admit this is a 100% practical perfect-fit solution to the problem, and what more could I ask for than that? As for the “new me,” does it mean acquiring some more stuff? Of course. But you have to compare that to a bigger mortgage and a bigger house to inevitably fill with way more stuff than just some light-weight, flat-folding, easily-stored tables and chairs. We’d have to purchase hundreds, maybe thousands of tables before those two options came out equal.<br /><br />Besides, then you’d just have thousands of tables. See what I mean?<br /><br />But back to the tackiness issue for a moment. Will my “dining table” be tacky? Ah, but the response: “Who cares? We play by our own rules.” The great thing about friends is that by definition, they don’t (or at least shouldn’t!) care. The point is togetherness! Will we be knocking each other’s knees? Oh yeah. But that’s just cozy. :)<br /><br />In a related story, I came across this article recently, just as I was going through a particularly low period of lamenting my smallish house and how I’d never REALLY be able to entertain like I envisioned (boo hoo!). I recommend reading it if you are in a similar situation – some great “disappearing box” entertaining ideas that I can’t wait to try!<br /><br />http://www.oprah.com/omagazine/Ideas-for-Making-Entertaining-Easy<br /><br />Oh, yeah, and the guest room thing. I do have a few ideas up my sleeve…but that’s for another post!<br /><br />Meanwhile, I’m excited to make a pretty table cloth for my gigantic table.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">*I have also found that unless it is completely expected that you’re having a sit-down dinner situation, you might as well not bother putting up the extra tables – they just get in the way. People ignore them and gather at couches, on the floor, at the kitchen counter, etc – which is totally fine by me. 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</script> </span>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-12082810477328303692011-08-01T13:13:00.000-07:002011-08-01T23:29:24.850-07:00The ClipboardPaper clutter (along with mental clutter!) is one of my biggest, if not my biggest, clutter nemeses. Over the past year I've been working on a system. It is ever-evolving. One aspect that I think will stick around for a long time, however, is The Clipboard.<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Rkz27VA4czsOjQ8_wP0Q0_99R-vk4wNiBDE4uHB4iM73q2hlnMtOBFcTaehnB2B2crEkMQtiLrNqskFLsZN7fBgnlIiyPXO9DMoSD-y24WhSyhAnF5w0rbmSl8iNT-D-z7PEvSA7lZk/s1600/IMG_7914.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6Rkz27VA4czsOjQ8_wP0Q0_99R-vk4wNiBDE4uHB4iM73q2hlnMtOBFcTaehnB2B2crEkMQtiLrNqskFLsZN7fBgnlIiyPXO9DMoSD-y24WhSyhAnF5w0rbmSl8iNT-D-z7PEvSA7lZk/s400/IMG_7914.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5635993901298364610" border="0" /></a>Yes, by The Clipboard I mean an actual board and and an actual clip. Not a cool new piece of organizational software. Sorry 'bout that.<br /><br />Allow me set the scene.<br /><br />When I sort the mail or other papers that enter the house, here are my basic categories:<br />1. Recycle<br />2. Shred<br />3. File<br />4. Action<br /><br />Recycling and shredding I try to tackle immediately, using my bins in the garage (before I come in the actual house.) After that, I'm usually left with some filing and action items. The items to be filed (not too many nowadays because I've become cut-throat in my shredding) I put near the filing cabinet and try to get to that as quickly as possible, if not immediately. Action items are things like bills or forms that need some sort of action from me before I can recycle/shred/file and move on with my life.<br /><br />This is where The Clipboard comes in. On the top of my clipboard is my on-going to-do list. Under the to-do list, I clip any papers that require action. I like this system for the following reasons:<br /><br /><ol><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">I write the action items right on my to-do list</span> when I clip the corresponding paper there. Feels very streamlined and helps me not forget.<br /></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">My to do list and the action items are always together.</span> I have tried keeping an electronic to-do list, even on my smartphone, but I didn't like the disconnect between the list and the physical items that need to be dealt with, if that makes sense.<br /></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">I hang my clipboard on a hook</span> in my pantry, thus eliminating the need for one more pile of papers on a surface. Flat surfaces are the enemy when it comes to curbing paper clutter.</li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">The clipboard physically limits how big my pile of action stuff can get </span>before I feel forced to deal with it. A pile of papers on a surface is only limited by how tall it gets before it starts to topple over. Much bigger than what fits in a clip. And then that pile is prone to multiplying....<br /></li><li><span style="font-weight: bold;">My action pile is portable.</span> I can take it all with me on my errands if necessary.</li></ol><br />I have come a long way. For several <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">years</span> I just kept a box in my closet where I threw any paper I might need later. I was in denial that effectively dealing with paper was something that was going to take a degree of daily vigilance <span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">for the rest of my life</span>. I finally made peace with this fact and got my files back in order in January. But I've never had a satisfactory system for action items. I had a manila folder for awhile, a box for awhile, but I hated it and inevitably ended up with generic piles of miscellaneous paper. Of course it's not 100% fail-safe, but this works so much better for me than other methods I've tried.<br /><br />What works (or doesn't) for you?<input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" type="hidden" onclick="if(typeof(jsCall)=='function'){jsCall();}else{setTimeout('jsCall()',500);}"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" type="hidden" onclick="if(typeof(jsCall)=='function'){jsCall();}else{setTimeout('jsCall()',500);}"><div id="refHTML"></div><input id="gwProxy" type="hidden"><!--Session data--><input id="jsProxy" type="hidden" onclick="if(typeof(jsCall)=='function'){jsCall();}else{setTimeout('jsCall()',500);}"><div id="refHTML"></div>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-41029440179035487432011-07-26T22:31:00.000-07:002011-07-27T13:50:21.216-07:00Home "Ownership"I hate the term “Home Owner.” <p class="MsoNormal">I do not “own” my home.<span style=""> </span>Not by a long shot<span style=""> </span>(Can you say, "no down payment?"). This label is thrown around like it’s some sort of accomplishment.<span style=""> </span>All it really means is:<span style=""> </span>“Congratulations, you signed up for a mortgage.<span style=""> </span>Good luck that the housing market doesn’t suck while you “own” it and you end up owing more than it’s worth.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We think mortgage debt is good debt because a house is supposed to be an investment or an asset.<span style=""> </span>Plus, I suppose it also has that whole “American Dream” business wrapped up in it.<span style=""> </span>Obviously, the economy and housing crash has sobered most of us when it comes to biting off more mortgage than we can chew.<span style=""> </span>But if you were fortunate enough to escape foreclosure, or maybe are even still sitting on quite a bit of equity, it’s very easy to get complacent, blithely going about your business while those mortgage checks automatically roll out of your account out each month. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">But when was the last time you sat down and looked at how much you owe? Even if you are lucky enough to have entered the housing market at a good time, and that set you on a path toward good equity or helped you eventually move into a larger, nicer home – don’t feel too smug.<span style=""> </span>When was the last time you looked at the dollar amount of interest you pay every month?<span style=""> </span>Not the rate; the actual cash you pay.<span style=""> </span>Or how much interest you’ve paid so far?<span style=""> </span>I’m sorry, but a tax break is a minor consolation here.<span style=""> </span>To me, anyway.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">We just (finally) refinanced to a 15 year mortgage last week.<span style=""> </span>And for the first time, the amount we automatically pay toward our principle every month is actually more than the amount of interest we pay.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Hooray?</p> <p class="MsoNormal">I think the term "Home Owner" should be reserved for people who own their home outright.<span style=""> </span>And maybe I’ll be one someday.</p><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLZM3eX-g8Sc_npFhkxDe5UlWGOhaAl1_Ju3OxXA4Kf9Bm07iFfjPVswSkJomEZKpZ-rmlRmtmWLt5pgwWA6BR7PlVqwZIjOdAbcFKvrsXa4paYpBzyIV1D0V-o3vCBl3RE1LD_kvQUMk/s1600/IMG_7911.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 247px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLZM3eX-g8Sc_npFhkxDe5UlWGOhaAl1_Ju3OxXA4Kf9Bm07iFfjPVswSkJomEZKpZ-rmlRmtmWLt5pgwWA6BR7PlVqwZIjOdAbcFKvrsXa4paYpBzyIV1D0V-o3vCBl3RE1LD_kvQUMk/s400/IMG_7911.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5633902394358244578" border="0" /></a> <p class="MsoNormal">Meanwhile, I need a new term for myself.<span style=""> </span>Suggestions?<span style=""> </span>Home Equity Owner?<span style=""> </span>Piece of a Home Owner?<span style=""> </span>Part-Home Owner?<span style=""> </span>Mortgager?<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal">Those stink. Please help.<span style=""> </span>Thanks.<span style=""></span></p>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-17090510719606340732011-07-25T21:53:00.000-07:002011-07-28T18:33:29.592-07:00Clothes<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9rDrl9RpmGp-kEUYy3h7QG24P9mmJYRRAyB6VAe313092uNg9ewVYOrEgSfCiBl8C1SYw-mgYW_GltsmdEXFt28KsDxHsoUQIxfBFYEouN57zjbUQrHD9vmfTzPlPiyigvhx7Wm4P9g/s1600/closet+1+after.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgV9rDrl9RpmGp-kEUYy3h7QG24P9mmJYRRAyB6VAe313092uNg9ewVYOrEgSfCiBl8C1SYw-mgYW_GltsmdEXFt28KsDxHsoUQIxfBFYEouN57zjbUQrHD9vmfTzPlPiyigvhx7Wm4P9g/s400/closet+1+after.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5633519877044242802" border="0" /></a>I think it would be awesome to cut down my clothing to just a few multifunctional items. From what I’ve read, the key to a simple wardrobe is owning a handful of high quality, multipurpose pieces with a common underlying tone so that they easily mix and match, plus some accessories (minimalist women seem to love scarves) that extend the outfit options from there. These items should last many years and basically never go out of style.<br /><br />Sounds great, I’m in.<br /><br />Anyone know a good magician?<br /><br />One tenant of simple living is “fewer but better.” Along with owning less, what one does own should be high quality. Growing up pretty poor, we always bought the cheapest that would get the job done. Cheapest car, cheapest clothes, cheapest appliance, cheapest furniture, cheapest décor. There was never enough money to buy any one expensive, high quality thing at a time. This mode of thinking has carried over quite strongly into my adult life. But, I have made a few breakthroughs. I have a nice vacuum.<br /><br />Er…let’s see, what else…er….hmmm….<br /><br />Ah, but clothes, clothes, clothes. I’m at a complete impasse with clothes. Here are some of my roadblocks:<br /><ol><li>I don’t have a strong fashion sense or innate appreciation for nice clothing. I wouldn’t know where to start. I don’t think I’d be able to spot a key, timeless wardrobe staple if it jumped on my body. And really, I just don’t know how to shop, I don’t like to shop, and have absolutely no interest in developing this hobby. </li><li>Shopping takes me forever. When you only shop for clothes a few times a year, you have to make each decision count. I can’t even take friends along to help; I end up driving them crazy or I just feel bad for taking up so much of their time. It frustrates me to spend so much time on something I care so little about, but this does nothing to speed me up. I’m stuck.</li><li>I can’t bring myself to budget very much money for clothes, even if it saves me money in the long run. I typically spend about $20 on a pair of pants, sometimes $12 or $15. For shirts, $20 is also toward the high end – I shoot for $10 and under. I don’t think I’ve ever in my life spent more than $60 on any one item, except maybe a winter coat, and that was probably under $100. My clothing philosophy tends to be “low risk, low reward,” and I struggle with breaking out of that cycle.</li><li>I feel like if I were to really make a go of a simple wardrobe, I’d have to start over from scratch. This thought is completely overwhelming – how would I justify the time or money to scrap my wardrobe and start over? Because nothing I currently own is worth much, it’s not like I’d get a boost by selling it.</li><li>As much as I love my husband, he is no help in this area. He cares far less about clothing than I do, and I pretty much do all his clothes shopping for him.</li><li>Wouldn’t this mean I'd have to do laundry more often? *shudder*</li></ol>So, what to do? Well, here’s my plan so far:<br />(Okay, I’m making this up as I type, so it’s a developing plan. This is why blogging helps me):<br /><ol><li>Keep pruning the current wardrobe of crap, especially crap with holes.</li><li>Try not to worry too much about running out of clothes. I am fairly confident that I don’t have a ridiculous amount to begin with, and I’m ditching more all the time, so I admit this does worry me at times. I will try not to worry. (Most of the worry is probably just fear of running out of clean laundry. I’ll try to consider that a somewhat separate issue).</li><li>If I do feel like I’m running out or there is an item I need to fill a specific gap, I won’t immediately rush to the absolute cheapest place to buy it. Maybe I'll at least <span style="font-style: italic;">try</span> a higher end store in hopes of coming across a higher quality item with a stomach-able price.</li><li>Continue to reflect on what my overall clothing style might be, in hopes of developing a theme that might be easily mixed and matched. Enlist the help from a couple friends to just talk about it or even window shop together (with a time limit!). I’ve heard of something called “chic bohemian.” Something tells me I might actually be able to pull that one off, if I knew what the heck it was.</li><li>Put “Rosie’s Clothing” back in as a line-item in our budget. For a long time now it’s just been clumped together with my “flex/fun” money. I have a feeling if I separate that back out into its own category, I will be more intentional with my clothing purchases.</li><li>Continue search for wardrobe magician/wizard/sorcerer.</li></ol>Meanwhile, I’m taking applications for a window-shopping-style-discerning buddy. Patience is a must. I will pay you in simplifying or decluttering services. Or cookies.Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-24627304414691188572011-07-21T00:25:00.000-07:002011-07-21T00:42:48.776-07:00What you see is what you see. And that’s all, folks.We look at people and judge them. Constantly. It’s human nature. Yet, we are taught from a young age not to judge a book by its cover, and I think most of us make an honest effort to avoid judging – even the inside of the book, right?! But granting that it is human instinct to make judgments about people (and not knocking the human race too badly for succumbing to this instinct at less-than-appropriate times), I’d like to discuss an important but often overlooked aspect of this tendency.<br /><br />Don’t judge the whole person by the moment. <br /><br />We all have bad days. We all say things we don’t mean (at least not with the 100%, eternal conviction we seem to at the moment. Husband, are you reading this???). We all have multifaceted personalities that manifest themselves at different times in different ways in different situations. This is something I try to work on with my kids a lot as they deal with their friends, and even with me. I do my best to teach and model an attitude of grace. But I fail a lot. Please don’t judge. :)<br /><br />Anyway. Let’s apply this principle to “stuff.” Because that’s what I do these days.<br /><br />Don’t judge the person by the stuff. In other words, don’t judge a person’s mindset about his/her possessions (or environment or living situation) by the possessions that person is surrounded by at the moment. It can take <span style="font-weight: bold;">years<span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span> for your possessions to catch up with your current mindset about them. This seems obvious if you consider people who have the mindset to acquire bigger, better, or more. But it also applies to people who are striving to downsize. There are so many decisions, events, people, and even situations beyond a person’s control that contributed to this one snapshot in time. You don’t know where that person has been or how far s/he has already come. You don’t know what external or internal barriers must be faced before progress is made. Even without significant blockades, simplifying is always a gradual, continuous process. <br /><br />Come visit me and all my stuff if you need proof.<br /><br />Unless you are told outright, you don’t know someone’s current attitude. And even then, that attitude is always developing.<br /><br />I can think of many decisions surrounding “things” I/we have made over the years that I would probably go back and change if I could, and that would make my situation and my stuff look very different right now. I try not to dwell on these as regrets or mistakes, even though it isn’t always easy. Just as we expressed in our <a href="http://acupofrosieleigh.blogspot.com/2011/07/family-purpose-statement.html"><u>family purpose statement</u></a>, I believe it is more important to focus on the present and how I can best direct my efforts to help my current physical reality match my current mindset. <br /><br />But do you know what I like best about this particular application of suspending judgment? It really just reinforces the truth that the stuff you own does not define who you are. Doesn’t matter how big or small the pile (or its “container”) is.<br /><br />Kinda cool, huh?Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-42105654153131783852011-07-17T22:32:00.001-07:002011-07-18T22:40:50.385-07:00The House Dilemma - Part 1<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Preface: Some of what follows is quite difficult for me to share. First, because I'm kind of ashamed of some aspects. Second, I'm worried about offending someone. To overcome the first, I need to just buck up and get over it. To overcome the second, I have to realize that someone who reads this may actually find encouragement and validation<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">. That makes the risk worth it to me.</span><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;">So, here we go.<br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;">While this whole “not caring about stuff and possessions” has developed gradually for me, I would never have described myself as very materialistic. <span style=""> </span>Clothes – whatever. Cars – blah. Furniture, gadgets, toys – <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">meh</span>.<span style=""> </span>But I am here to admit I've been an admirer of large(r) homes for quite some time. Not the stuff inside houses, but houses themselves.<span style=""> </span>My husband will tell you I have spent countless hours poring over real estate websites. At times I've even thought I could or should have been a realtor.<br /><br />Clearly, a big(<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">ger</span>) house doesn't really jive with the simple lifestyle to which we are now aspiring.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>Honestly, I’m still analyzing my own thoughts and working through my issues on the topic of houses. And once again, I must acknowledge that Pete is a few steps ahead of me; he's never wanted a big house. In fact, in one of my most recent purges I came across a college essay of his in which he clearly stated the fact that he <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">didn't understand the need for large homes.</span><span style=""> </span>It’s always been “my idea” to someday move into a not-huge-but-bigger house in a lovely neighborhood and “settle” there and raise our kids.<span style=""> </span>Although Pete and I are so fortunate to be on the same page in most aspects of our lives, financial and otherwise, the “house thing” has never quite clicked between the two of us.<span style=""> </span>I am pleased to say that we’re finally starting to inch closer together in our vision – but it’s really me that’s had to do the inching.<span style=""> </span>I had always reasoned that I must be the partner who wanted a bigger/nicer home because I was the one who spent more of my time there as a stay-at-home mom.<span style=""> </span>Kind of a nesting mentality, I suppose. I figured he must not care as much because he just <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">wasn</span>’t there as much.<span style=""> </span>Now, I am more in tune with the <u><a style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;" href="http://acupofrosieleigh.blogspot.com/2011/06/why-minimalismish.html">overall life philosophy behind it all</a>.</u></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;">I still find myself quite envious of other people's homes at times. Yes, yes - I know it's all relative. I live in a huge, luxurious home to some, and a meager dwelling to others. The people whose homes I am envying at this moment are probably envying someone <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">else's</span> bigger/better home, while still other people are envying mine. I am flat-out fortunate to have a roof over my head, period.<span style=""> </span>I get all that. However, this acknowledgment doesn't help much with my lingering inner struggle over the issue.<span style=""> </span>But more on that later.<br /><br />Meanwhile, here's an embarrassing fact that I can't believe I'm actually sharing on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">internet</span>. Once, I entered every single home address of my daughter’s preschool classmates into <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">zillow</span>.com (and if you don't know what that is, all the better!). My snooping session uncovered that our house was second from the bottom of the list in size and market value. Embarrassing as it is to admit that I looked at this (in my defense, I was up way too late and already in a bad <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">headspace</span>), I feel it does at least provide a frame of reference. Those preschool families are a cross section of our “peers," and you can observe that we are already on the smaller-house side of our peer group. It's one example, but I think it's pretty representative. And, the fact that I checked all this in the first place is some darn solid proof that I’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ve</span> got real issues to work through – and that maybe, I’m a lot more materialistic than I think! Dang those Joneses!<br /><br />In addition to this snapshot comparison, as we look around us, houses are not getting any smaller.<span style=""> </span>Over the years we've had many friends that have "upgraded" to a larger home, but we've known very few who have "downgraded" - and of those, most were by necessity (following something like an involuntary downgrade in employment status, if ya know what I mean.). We are still in the first house we bought - our "starter home," as they call it on those real estate websites.<br /></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:100%;">Yet, I’m slowly realizing that I don’t actually need (or even want) to participate on the seemingly ubiquitous quest to upgrade.<span style=""> </span>As we embarked on our journey toward simplicity, there were still a couple of lingering concerns I had about choosing to step out of world of house upgrades. I think I may share those concerns in future posts, and the ways in which I’m beginning to see paths around and through them.<span style=""> </span>It’s a process, believe me, when you’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">ve</span> spent so many years imagining a “dream home” and what that represents in your life.<span style=""> </span>The house issue is definitely the last and most stubborn aspect of my life to begin the surrender to simplicity.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:12pt;"><span style="font-size:100%;"><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">And for some reason, writing about it helps.</span></span><span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; line-height: normal;font-family:trebuchet ms;"><span style="font-size:12pt;"><br /></span></p> <span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:trebuchet ms;font-size:12pt;" ><br /><br /></span>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-66151950580923569602011-07-14T00:32:00.000-07:002011-07-14T14:40:38.181-07:00Just a quote I liked.I read this thought over at <a href="http://www.missminimalist.com/">Miss Minimalsist</a> the other day and it has really stuck with me. The guy who wrote it is a mildly autistic young man who contributed to her Monday "Real Life Minimalist" series. I find these real stories of real people very inspiring. I liked the quote enough that I wanted to leave it here, so I could go back and look at it later - rather than just slapping it in my Facebook status.<br /><br />Anyway, the quote:<br /><br />"Minimalism may appear plain and boring to begin with, but that is only true when your view of life is limited to physical possessions."<br /><br />I had planned to write a bunch more about this quote and what it means to me. But I think I'll just let it sit as it is. That would be the minimalist thing to do, yes?Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-18635322453429260032011-07-05T22:12:00.000-07:002011-07-06T09:18:11.167-07:00Family Purpose StatementThis past spring I participated in <a href="http://simplemom.net/project-simplify-hot-spot-1-revealed/">"Project: Simplify"</a> with <a href="http://simplemom.net/">Simple Mom</a>. The challenge was to tackle 5 clutter Hot Spots in 5 weeks. I had already read Tsh's book, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Organized-Simplicity-Clutter-Free-Approach-Intentional/dp/1440302634/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1309935410&sr=8-1">Organized Simplicity</a>, in which she discusses writing a family purpose statement. Sounded like a nice idea, but things like laundry, making dinner, and kid-refereeing seemed a bit more pressing at the time.<br /><br />However, in the online Project: Simplify challenge, she again strongly encouraged writing a purpose statement before beginning the purging, with the idea it would provide a compass for making decisions.<br /><br />Well, phooey. I play by the rules. So this was the kick in the pants I needed to tackle the purpose-writing. Luckily, I have a husband who is totally into that kind of thing (such an over-achiever, I tell ya), so we sat down one night to knock it out.<br /><br />Tsh outlines 20 questions intended to guide the process. The idea is that as you answer these questions, some common themes surface, and you latch onto these to write the statement.<br /><br />So we answered the questions, and in the time it took me to read back our answers, Pete had crafted a statement. 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mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Titterington Family</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><u><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:24pt;" >Purpose Statement</span></u></b></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:18pt;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Our family mission is to build a home where we can </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >be ourselves</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >, and </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >learn to love</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" > and </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >be loved</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >.<span style=""> </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Our home should be a space where all feel </span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >safe</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >, </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >honest</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >, and </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >welcome</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >.</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >We strive to be </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >fully present in the moment</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" > so that we are…</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Loving each other,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Loving others,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Living simply,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Ready and available to help,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Spiritually aware,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Physically active,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Constantly learning,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Unafraid of future and failure,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >Embracing optimism and joy,</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >And full of gratitude.</span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="margin-left: 40.5pt; text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" > </span></p> <p class="MsoNoSpacing" style="text-align: center;" align="center"><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >We seek to </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >recognize</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >, </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >respect</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >, and </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >grow</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" > each others’ complementary </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >strengths</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >, maximizing what we each do best for the </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >benefit of the family</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" > and to </span><b style=""><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" >serve the community</span></b><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" > as a whole.</span><span style=";font-family:";font-size:18pt;" ></span></p><br />I'm sure it will be altered over time, and I feel like there are some other ideas I want to get in there somehow, but it works for now.<br /><br />We keep it on our fridge. So what the heck, the internet is the new fridge, right? It might as well be here, too.<br /><br />Maybe it will inspire someone somewhere to write one as well. It's one of those "important but not urgent" tasks that could probably use a shift up the priority list.<br /><br />You'd be surprised at how much having this thing around helps in everyday decision-making. We are all constantly faced with decisions about how to spend our limited time, money, and energy, not to mention how to guide our kids in these areas. And with every decision comes an opportunity cost - a sacrifice associated with giving up any benefits of the option(s) you didn't choose. The ever-present reminder of "what we're about" not only helps in making the initial decision, but also in finding continued peace in that choice and its associated sacrifices as time goes on.<br /><br />All right, are you inspired? Ready, set, go!Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-81741095400368223412011-06-28T11:30:00.000-07:002011-06-28T12:30:25.613-07:00What I Think of YOUR Cluttered House<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> 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Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="21" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Emphasis"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="31" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Subtle Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="32" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Intense Reference"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="33" semihidden="false" unhidewhenused="false" qformat="true" name="Book Title"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="37" name="Bibliography"> <w:lsdexception locked="false" priority="39" qformat="true" name="TOC Heading"> </w:LatentStyles> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 10]> <style> /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-qformat:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--> <p class="MsoNormal">The SIMPLE answer:<span style=""> </span>Is it cluttered?<span style=""> </span>I didn’t really notice.<span style=""> </span>Must not bother me!</p> <p class="MsoNormal">The more of my friends who find out about my developing simplicity /decluttering /minimalism philosophy, the more I hear the comment:<br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">“<span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">You must think my house is </span><span style="font-weight: bold; font-style: italic;">SO cluttered</span>!”<span style=""><br /></span></p><p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""></span>This makes me sad.<span style=""> </span>The last thing I want is for people to feel self-conscious in their own homes because of me, and for that concern to be unwarranted in the first place.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">So, please allow me to set your mind at ease.<span style=""> </span>Here are…</p> <p style="font-weight: bold;" class="MsoNormal">Some Reasons I Don’t Notice or Care About Your Self-Alleged Clutter:</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>When I visit you in your home, <span style="font-weight: bold;">I’m there to see you, not your stuff</span>.<span style=""> </span>Remember, I don’t care much about “stuff” in the first place.<span style=""> </span>I would like to focus on hanging out and enjoying your company instead – and, usually, I do. :-)<span style="font-family:Wingdings;"><span style=""></span></span><span style=""><span style=""><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">2.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>I have no part in paying for, cleaning (up), maintaining, fixing, etc. your stuff.<span style=""> </span>This journey is about finding what is most simple and practical for me, and <span style="font-weight: bold;">your stuff does not affect the simplicity vs. complexity of my life one bit</span>.<span style=""> </span>Unless you’re planning to leave it all to me in your will.<span style=""> </span>But, if you’re here reading this, you know that would be a bad idea. :-)<span style=""><span style=""><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">3.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>Along with being extremely practical, I am really not a “decorator.”<span style=""> </span>If there is something that looks “nice” in my house right now, there’s a good chance it’s because a friend switched it all around for me.<span style=""> </span>So in general, <span style="font-weight: bold;">I’m not highly tuned in to the aesthetics of your home</span>.<span style=""><span style=""><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">4.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>We all <span style="font-weight: bold;">notice more things about ourselves than other people</span> would ever notice about us (because, by definition, we’re all too busy worrying about ourselves).<span style=""> </span>That’s junior high school lesson #1, right?<span style=""> </span>Same goes for stuff.<span style=""> </span>Selfishly, I’m much more concerned about my own stuff than yours.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">5.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span></span></span><span style="font-weight: bold;">I am not espousing what I think is the “right” way of life for everyone</span>.<span style=""> </span>We all have our own values, priorities, and quirks.<span style=""> </span>Many pure minimalists (which I am not) still keep collections of certain things they value.<span style=""> <span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></span>So anyway,<span style="font-weight: bold;"> keep being you. I like you.</span><span style=""> </span>I won’t pick on you for your extensive miniature elephant collection if you promise not to pick on me for leaving the thermostat at 70 degrees 24-hours-a-day-year-round.<span style=""> <span style=""><br /></span></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">6.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>This one’s difficult to explain, but I’ll try.<span style=""> </span>When I visit an art museum, do I feel like it’s too cluttered with paintings?<span style=""> </span>When I walk into a well-stocked library, do I suddenly get the urge to purge?<span style=""> </span>No.<span style=""> </span>In my mind, places and things do have a practical, useful, and even beautiful purpose.<span style=""> </span>But in my mind, that purpose is usually pretty cut and dry.<span style=""> </span>The library is where the books live.<span style=""> </span>The art museum is where the art lives.<span style=""> </span>Amy’s house* is where Amy lives.<span style=""> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">Your house is just that - your house.</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span><span style="font-weight: bold;">It’s one complete package.</span><span style=""> </span>It’s that simple for me.<span style=""> </span>Beyond that, I’m not all that interested.</p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">Ok, I suppose if you are a full-fledged hoarder, I might notice.<span style=""> </span>Otherwise, unless you point it out, I probably haven’t noticed.<span style=""> </span>If I did notice, it didn’t bother me.<span style=""> </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;">Simple as that!</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 0.25in;"> <span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:11pt;" >*I used the name Amy because I happen to have (too) many friends named Amy.<span style=""> </span>But not to worry, Amys, I have no intention of decluttering you!</span></p>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-8342498791168455702011-06-20T07:00:00.000-07:002011-06-28T13:53:48.830-07:00Slow Down and Take the Bus<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCjzh-sGfzU3bWBWx_n9i7-W6YCcTWKMOb9FIfn-DSQRXU6hEzupGiT_kQgMmNUlVJ-_ayeiiPhMWaHIhVjWNs0PR4REWVBD7jO1SXdTQMXLHUZBgifo6-h4r6uIB2kwgMyVwGoM3NVHo/s1600/IMAG0279.jpg"><br /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZDWCBvZ6J1Zmq22jUOKIC7UWMrSlJYfynzzD21OEI_8-zpOE6GsnQ0sxmuz4SBbJaD5_W-pGVu8vngJO1TZwkT9IXuRdahtEAXX0YU47tHvQ25vh8NnAHUy7RTCOx2mGRUkFWIFLeE0k/s1600/IMAG0282.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 264px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZDWCBvZ6J1Zmq22jUOKIC7UWMrSlJYfynzzD21OEI_8-zpOE6GsnQ0sxmuz4SBbJaD5_W-pGVu8vngJO1TZwkT9IXuRdahtEAXX0YU47tHvQ25vh8NnAHUy7RTCOx2mGRUkFWIFLeE0k/s400/IMAG0282.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5619783406722607538" border="0" /></a>(I have coined an acronym for the purpose of this blog.<span style=""> </span>M/UMC = Middle and Upper Middle Class.<span style=""> </span>Hmmm…you may already see where I’m going with this….) <p class="MsoNormal">Most people think of Portland as a public transportation-friendly area.<span style=""> </span>But when broken down by suburb (and sub-section of a suburb – a subsuburb?) and then also by demographic, both use of and attitude toward the public <b style=""><i style="">bus</i></b>, specifically, varies dramatically.<span style=""> </span>In fact, I can think of several of my friends (in the same general area and demographic as me) whom I can’t even fathom encountering on a public bus. And not just because they’re not on the route.<span style=""> </span>It may as well be Donald Trump on the bus in my mental picture.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Even for my own kids, riding the public bus is an exciting adventure or special treat, not a fact of life like it is for most of the other kids and families we encounter on our rides.<span style=""> </span>It’s amazing how sheltered we can be from something that passes near our house multiple times per day.<span style=""> </span>It’s a traveling piece of culture we don’t interact with unless we choose to go along for the ride.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Honestly, l feel quite silly writing about this at all.<span style=""> </span>I’m sure all my British relatives are having a jolly good laugh at me.<span style=""> </span>I mean it’s the <b style=""><i style="">bus</i></b>, for goodness sake.<span style=""> </span>It should be no big deal, and it really isn’t.<span style=""> </span>Yet somehow it is to me – or what it represents in my life, anyway.<span style=""> </span>So I’m compelled to write about it anyway.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Ok, obviously most of us suburban M/UMCs <span style=""> </span>don’t ride the bus because we have cars.<span style=""> </span>Pete began riding the bus to work when we became a one-car family, and the kids and I ride the bus (or stay home) when he has the car.<span style=""> </span>But even before we dropped a car, I occasionally took the kids places on the bus just for the heck of it.<span style=""> </span>It wasn’t really to save money or gas or to be “greener”, although these are nice perks.<span style=""> </span>The real reason I did it was to <b style="">force us to slow down and view life from another perspective</b>. <span style=""> </span>It’s no secret that we suburban M/UMCers are typically extremely busy and overscheduled, running from one activity or errand to the next.<span style=""> </span>We like to be efficient with our time and in control of our lives, while packing in as much fun and enrichment into each day as we possibly can. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">All this hurried efficiency tends to go out the window when you ride public transportation.<span style=""> </span>However, here is what you might gain in return:</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">1.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">You’re forced to be outside</b> for a lot of the time.<span style=""> </span>Nothing wrong with that.<span style=""> </span>The fresh (or semi-fresh) air will do you good.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">2.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">You’re forced to walk a bit</b> – from bus stop to your actual destination and back.<span style=""> </span>You are forced to walk <span style="font-style: italic;">fast</span> if you’re about to miss the bus!<span style=""> </span>Exercise is good.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">3.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">You notice things</b> on your little walks – the stuff that you drive right by on your normal routes through town.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">4.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">You wait.</b><span style=""> </span>You must be patient – there’s not much choice in the matter. <span style=""> </span>No immediate gratification of hoping in your car and going exactly where you want, exactly when you want.<span style=""> </span>A set of trips or errands that would normally take you two hours will take four.<span style=""> </span>Oh well.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">5.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">Similarly, you must let go of some control</b>.<span style=""> </span>That we are in complete control over our lives is an illusion anyway, right?<span style=""> </span>Might as well practice letting go of that illusion when you can.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">6.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">You can also practice</b> <b style="">letting go of germaphobia</b> – a highly common M/UMC affliction.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle">(Note: if this is all beginning to sound like your own personal version of hell, it may mean some bus time would do you good – like it does me!)</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">7.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">You appreciate your car</b> a bit more in the process, and are forced to reckon with the true purpose of a car (which is not to be new, expensive, fancy or impressive, just in case you were wondering).<span style=""> </span>You will likely be more grateful for the luxury of its convenience.</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">8.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">You rub shoulders (yes, sometimes literally) with people you probably wouldn’t in your normal day</b>.<span style=""> </span>Especially if you have a gregarious child who strikes up a conversation with anyone and everyone. <span style=""> </span>(Eh hem!)</p> <p class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="text-indent: -0.25in;"><span style=""><span style="">9.<span style="font: 7pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><b style="">Your children, gregarious or not, get to learn all these lessons along with you.</b></p> <p class="MsoNormal">I’ll say it again – I feel a bit silly writing all this.<span style=""> </span>I feel sheltered, quaint, and a bit spoiled. Taking the bus is no noble or important act. <span style=""> </span>It just boils down to the fact I’m all in favor of anything that forces us M/UMCers to slow down.<span style=""> </span>We assume we need a get-away, beach vacation, or break from our normal lives to achieve this sense of slowness.<span style=""> </span><span style=""> </span>In reality, all we need is $2.05.<span style=""> </span>Kids under 7 ride free.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><p class="MsoNormal">How about you? Do you ever ride the bus? Do you enjoy it?<br /></p>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-60580297729383092912011-06-16T11:08:00.000-07:002011-06-16T11:22:04.723-07:00"Simple" Decluttering<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>Normal</w:View> <w:zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:trackmoves/> <w:trackformatting/> <w:punctuationkerning/> <w:validateagainstschemas/> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:donotpromoteqf/> <w:lidthemeother>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:lidthemeasian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables/> <w:snaptogridincell/> <w:wraptextwithpunct/> <w:useasianbreakrules/> <w:dontgrowautofit/> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark/> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp/> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables/> 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mso-para-margin-top:0in; mso-para-margin-right:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:10.0pt; mso-para-margin-left:0in; line-height:115%; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:11.0pt; font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif"; mso-ascii-font-family:Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-theme-font:minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family:Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;} </style> <![endif]--><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" >I recently read a blog post on a simplicity website describing how to declutter and make money doing it. The article went on to discuss yard sales, craigslist, eBay, and claiming donations on your taxes. I have nothing against those activities and have done all of them (except I’m still an eBay virgin. tee hee). In fact, we just had a huge garage sale last Saturday.</span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" >Yet, there was something that rubbed me the wrong way about that particular post. It needed a disclaimer. If simplicity is the overarching theme of your blog/book/article/message, I personally believe you should start by at least<b> identifying the most simple path to the goal</b>. Just an acknowledgment will suffice. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" >It seems to me that <b>the simplest way to get rid of something is to donate it or put it up for free and then walk away. No receipt.</b><br /><br />Selling an item means figuring out the item's "worth", setting a price, negotiating a price, and arranging a time and place for conducting the transaction. This complicates matters. Requesting a receipt for a donation means identifying the object’s worth, filing or keep track of the info until it comes time to file your taxes, and then entering the info. The item has now left a little trail for you to follow - its imprint lives on. This complicates matters. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" >Again, I have nothing against getting money for stuff you don’t want. I do it all the time. But what is the <i>purest</i> form of decluttering? If I’m in a situation where<i> simplicity</i> is my driving motivation - it’s no-receipt<b> </b>donation. </span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" >Is it just me, or do we feel a rap coming on in that last sentence??</span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" ><br /><br /></span><span style="line-height: 115%;font-family:";font-size:130%;color:black;" >What do you think? Am I splitting hairs here? For me, it’s a definite mindset difference. It’s one thing to simplify your environment by decluttering. It’s another thing to simplify both your <b><i>environement </i></b>and your<b><i> life</i></b><i> </i>while decluttering.<br /><br />Plus, it’s just plain good practice at letting go.</span>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-47478543468668081742011-06-15T18:09:00.000-07:002011-06-16T11:13:38.691-07:00Why Minimalism(ish?)<p>(originally posted as a Note on Facebook)<br /></p><p>Our little family has undergone many changes over the last year. Some big changes - namely, Pete quitting his job in a bad employment market with no position lined up, then finishing his MBA and starting a new job in a new field. Some moderate changes - like dropping down to one car. And some small changes - like forgoing paper towels and a microwave (which now stores our toaster). I have also been reading a lot of blogs and books on simplicity (from toys to education to parenting to schedules), decluttering, and minimalism. As time goes on, these concepts and ideals influence our practical lives more and more. Really, at heart, Pete’s probably been there all along - it was me that needed the gradual convincing. We have not become complete minimalists by any means, but we may be moving in that direction ever so slowly. At any rate, as typically happens when life changes, priorities and values get re-examined.</p><p>Since I haven’t been very shy about sharing the process thus far, I find that a lot of people want to know <em><strong>WHY</strong></em>?. What is driving these decisions and actions? And, when I am asked, I feel like I can’t come up with the right answer for that person on the spot. So, I decided to type out some of my thoughts. Pete said he agrees with what I came up with. So here we go, in no particular order.</p><p><strong>Why Minimalism(ish)? </strong></p><ol><li> We are generally anti-consumerism and anti-marketing. We don’t want to get caught up in comparing ourselves to or keeping up with other people, nor with the prevailing culture of excess and waste. We want to take the focus off of what we own and instead focus on what we do. </li><li> We believe that owning less and buying less keeps us in touch with what it means to have “enough.” It helps keep us closer to and more mindful of people who don’t have enough to meet their basic needs, as well as freeing up more financial resources to help. </li><li> We want to spend less time researching, buying, working to pay for, cleaning, cleaning around, maintaining, fixing, and thinking about stuff - and to spend more time on people and relationships. </li><li> We value living in the present. A lot of “stuff” is related to commemorating or hanging onto our past selves, trying to anticipate the future (oh but we “might need it someday!”) or something we aspire to be or do (our imaginary selves). Meanwhile, all that stuff is collecting dust and taking up space. </li><li> We want the freedom to take opportunities and be spontaneous. Stuff and attachment to that stuff can be a physical and psychological “weight” that prevents us from seizing opportunities (i.e. following a passion - maybe a career in a different location and/or with less pay, living overseas, helping someone in need, etc). </li><li> We don’t like clutter and we value empty space. We find this creates a peaceful environment that also inspires creativity and resourcefulness. </li><li> We value community and even have some communal living ideals. We want to foster relationships with our friends and family in which people share more and individually consume/own less.</li></ol>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6022199498546159915.post-81183195594391423062011-06-14T21:30:00.000-07:002011-06-16T11:14:57.704-07:00No More NightstandsI am disproportionately loving life without nightstands.<br /><br />I should back up a bit. Pete and I have been purging our house of excess stuff. We decided that we don't particularly like<span style="font-weight: bold;"> stuff</span> in general. But once you start this process, it's a bit difficult to stop. You begin to question everything. Do we really <span style="font-style: italic;">NEED</span> that? What would life be like without it? It'd be kinda fun to find out, right? Heck, let's go for it!!!<br /><br />Topics of simplicity, minimalism, decluttering, downsizing, etc. will definitely be part of this blog. However, I don't think they'll be the only themes - which is why I didn't call this blog "<a href="http://acupofrosieleigh.blogspot.com/p/about.html">Rosie Declutters</a>," catchy as it might be. But, more background on that later. Meanwhile, please allow me to tell you just a few of the reasons I'm loving my new no-nightstand lifestyle:<br /><br /><ol><li>No surface to collect clutter.</li><li>No surface to collect dust.</li><li>No lamp to dust or replace light bulb in or to use electricity or adjust crooked shade or knock over or break or fix or replace....you get the idea.<br /></li><li>No object to awkwardly vacuum around or behind.</li><li>No corner to stub toe on or jab thigh into in the dark.</li><li>No drawers to collect random stuff that has no business being there.</li><li>Can easily reach the outlet it used to block. Especially handy for plugging in our phones at night, which double as alarm clocks.</li><li>More space in the room.</li><li>If/when we move, fewer items to deal with.<br /></li></ol>(x2. Because we had two of the darn things).<br /><br />I read in <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Less-Minimalist-Living-Guide-ebook/dp/B003UNJX4S/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1308114854&sr=8-3">The Joy of Less: A Minimalist Living Guide</a> that the bedroom should be the least cluttered room in the house, and that everything contained therein should directly relate to sleeping or relaxing. Since then I've removed probably 75% of the items originally in the room, and now work the hardest (compared with the rest of the house) at keeping it free of clutter. It quickly became my favorite room in the house. By far. Interestingly, the kids seem to gravitate there more now as well.<br /><br />How can YOU get in on the nightstand-less action? I'm so glad you asked.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">How To Get Rid of Your Nightstands and Begin Disproportionately Loving Life:</span><br /><ol><li>Make sure there are other ways to get enough light in the room, particularly if you read in bed. We already had a floor lamp in another part of the room that, with a little repositioning, gave us plenty of light.</li><li>Clean out and clear off nightstand, making a pile of only absolutely essential items (i.e. limit yourself to one bedside book at a time).</li><li>Put these essential items in a small bin or basket that can be tucked under your bed and easily accessed (better yet, choose the bin and let that limit and determine the items you can keep). Maybe one bin for each side of the bed if necessary.</li><li>Post your nightstands and lamps on Craigslist as a package deal for a ridiculously low price. Ours were gone in about 30 minutes from time of posting. The key here - forget what you originally paid for them or how much they're worth. Only focus on what will <span style="font-style: italic;">make them go fast</span>. The money isn't important and it's not the goal, it's just an added bonus. We posted our 2 lamps and 2 nightstands for $25 total. Then we ate at PF Changs Happy Hour and went to a gelato place for dessert and had money left over.</li></ol>What's not to (disproportionately) love?<br /><br />I should probably post pictures. I'm still a bit shy about that. I'm not a decorator (obviously) and I'm not a photographer (nor aspiring to be either one). But we'll see. Maybe when I get to know you a little better.<br /><br />Here's some gelato.<br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfxi2KwfIPmMYCCtOJwaeu96Yfy5x9_3-2oUYD6dSy4KLVr650FnSm_er6Ft2LdreF2HQNMYaVGox565m3HKr-Fppi7AG1iLc9xFoxStvIFAJZ-Sijxd0vpsBJYqYvQWzLHeaj_HO6fTw/s1600/gelato.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfxi2KwfIPmMYCCtOJwaeu96Yfy5x9_3-2oUYD6dSy4KLVr650FnSm_er6Ft2LdreF2HQNMYaVGox565m3HKr-Fppi7AG1iLc9xFoxStvIFAJZ-Sijxd0vpsBJYqYvQWzLHeaj_HO6fTw/s400/gelato.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5618320066405210770" border="0" /></a>Pete and Rosiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13781202225913573988noreply@blogger.com0